Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a belief that investing in motorways and roads is more crucial
thanin
public transport for Correct your spelling
than in
than
examples
trams and railways. Personally, Fix the agreement mistake
example
this
writer disagree
with Change the verb form
disagrees
this
statement and will explain why in the following sections.
It is straightforward to realize that the expenditure in
infrastructure encourages private vehicle usage, which is the most critical factor of environmental issues in urban areas. In fact, combustion engines equipped in motorcycles and cars Change preposition
on
burns
fossil fuel to create movement, Change the verb form
burn
thus
leading to carbon emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
as well as
SO 2 , NO
2 . These contaminants directly threaten residents’s respiratory Correct word choice
and NO
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
as well as
other eye-related illness
. Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
Consequently
, increasingly
spending is imposed Change the word
increasing
in
air pollution and healthcare services to cope with a higher rate Change preposition
on
in
public health problems.
Another key component Change preposition
of
contributes
to the writer’s disagreement is paradoxically improved haul transportation triggers traffic Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
jam
. In detail, more private vehicles led by Fix the agreement mistake
jams
this
statement deteriorates traffic flow, which leads to a wide range of postponed shipment
. Fix the agreement mistake
shipments
In contrast
, public transportation alleviate
chaotic vehicle density in conjunction with proposing more opportunities for commuters who have financial burdens to work. Change the verb form
alleviates
As a result
, various commercial trades can gain sustainability regarding goods distribution, urban employment owns expanded workforce to boost the national economy.
In conclusion, public transportation reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
are
pollution Unnecessary verb
apply
as well as
traffic congestion in practical
. Replace the word
practice
Hence
, governments should spend more in this
field instead
of developing motorways and roads.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is great. However, it would benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Although the essay is generally cohesive, some transitions could be more fluid to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by organizing your points more clearly and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-explained.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position on the topic and maintained it throughout the essay, which helps in achieving a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear starting point and a concise summary of your arguments.
task achievement
You have made good points about environmental issues and traffic congestion, which are relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?