IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a belief that investing in motorways and roads is more crucial
thanin
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than in
than
 public transport for
examples
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example
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 trams and railways. Personally,
this
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 writer
disagree
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disagrees
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 with
this
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 statement and will explain why in the following sections. It is straightforward to realize that the expenditure
in
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on
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 infrastructure encourages private vehicle usage, which is the most critical factor of environmental issues in urban areas. In fact, combustion engines equipped in motorcycles and cars
burns
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burn
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 fossil fuel to create movement,
thus
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 leading to carbon
emission
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emissions
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as well as
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 SO 2 ,
NO
Correct word choice
and NO
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 2 . These contaminants directly threaten residents’s respiratory
system
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systems
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as well as
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 other eye-related
illness
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illnesses
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.
Consequently
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,
increasingly
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increasing
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 spending is imposed
in
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on
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 air pollution and healthcare services to cope with a higher rate
in
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of
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 public health problems. Another key component
contributes
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that contributes
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 to the writer’s disagreement is paradoxically improved haul transportation triggers traffic
jam
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jams
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. In detail, more private vehicles led by
this
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 statement deteriorates traffic flow, which leads to a wide range of postponed
shipment
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shipments
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.
In contrast
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, public transportation
alleviate
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alleviates
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 chaotic vehicle density in conjunction with proposing more opportunities for commuters who have financial burdens to work.
As a result
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, various commercial trades can gain sustainability regarding goods distribution, urban employment owns expanded workforce to boost the national economy. In conclusion, public transportation
reduce
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reduces
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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pollution
as well as
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 traffic congestion in
practical
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practice
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.
Hence
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, governments should spend more in
this
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 field
instead
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 of developing motorways and roads.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is great. However, it would benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Although the essay is generally cohesive, some transitions could be more fluid to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by organizing your points more clearly and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-explained.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position on the topic and maintained it throughout the essay, which helps in achieving a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear starting point and a concise summary of your arguments.
task achievement
You have made good points about environmental issues and traffic congestion, which are relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocation of funds
  • upgrading and maintaining
  • economic growth
  • transportation of goods and services
  • traffic congestion
  • travel time
  • productivity
  • road infrastructure
  • tourism
  • travel experience
  • public transport systems
  • vehicles on the road
  • carbon footprint
  • cost-effective
  • commuters
  • financial burden
  • social equity
  • mobility options
  • private vehicles
  • access to jobs, education, and healthcare
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