Some people say in other to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is said that the government should try to reduce

pollution

Use synonyms

in other to prevent illnesses.

This

Linking Words

writer agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement as it will greatly reduce

diseases

Use synonyms

. It must be understood that most

diseases

Use synonyms

come from

pollution

Use synonyms

. Water

pollution

Use synonyms

cause

Replace the word

causes

show examples

stomach pain and air

pollution

Use synonyms

can cause respiratory

problems

Use synonyms

. If the government can reduce these factors, residents will no longer suffer from these

diseases

Use synonyms

. What is more, the locals will not have to complain about environmental issues anymore as the air is fresher and

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

is clean to drink.

This

Linking Words

can improve life quality,

lead

Correct word choice

and lead

show examples

to reducing mental health

problems

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in Ho Chi Minh City, air

pollution

Use synonyms

affects residents heavily. By reducing it, the locals do not have to suffer from breathing

problems

Use synonyms

anymore. Another consideration is if the governments can solve housing

problems

Use synonyms

, there will not be any homeless people living

Change preposition

show examples

the street. They will be less likely to be sick and not spread it to other people,

moreover

Linking Words

, they can

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

a better life and do not have to worry about where to stay and eat.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they will

less

Add a missing verb

be less

show examples

likely to be sick.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the USA, housing

problems

Use synonyms

are solved by building more affordable houses.

As a result

Linking Words

, there are not many homeless people in the city anymore.

Additionally

Linking Words

, hospitals reported that the rate of illnesses

decline

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

over the years. In conclusion, the government should solve

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing

problems

Use synonyms

, because

this

Linking Words

can dramatically reduce illnesses.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

issue is solved, there are not any homeless inhabitants

spread

Correct pronoun usage

who spread

show examples

diseases

Use synonyms

any more.

Thu May 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is good, but you can make it stronger by elaborating a bit more on the main points you will discuss in the essay.

logical structure

Your points are generally clear and comprehensive, but sometimes the connections between ideas could be more explicit. Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

relevant specific examples

While you have provided relevant examples, try to make them more specific and directly connected to your points to strengthen your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

logical structure

You raise two main points (environmental pollution and housing problems) and structure your essay well by discussing these points in separate paragraphs.

relevant specific examples

You provide appropriate examples such as the air pollution problem in Ho Chi Minh City and housing issues in the USA, which help support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why is this? Do you think the government should spend more money supporting the local film industry?
In the contemporary world, Some people argue that to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. On the other hand, many people advocate that the government should spend more money supporting local films and companies. This question has sparked significant debate. In my opinion, Locally produced films deserve more than support right now. I will explain this with two diverse reasons why it is essential for all countries.
8
band
Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that arts-related subjects are as important as other school subjects, especially for primary school children. I totally agree with this statement because this can help children discover their talents from an early age and can increase their confidence.
6.5
band
the deserted house To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Guni and Gougi lived in a world, corrupted by & ghosts and supernatural beings from different," world. The planet was called Gaia. In their small village of the mysterious valley of no return, there stood a deserted house, its windows were shattered its roof were sagging, and it was & surounded wa with a ghostly aura. Rumouts spread throughout the village that the house was haunted, but Guni and Gougi did not belie in such rumours. They had curious brigh, alu seeking for adventure at most unique places.
5.5
band
a photograph you submitted to your local art gallery has been selected to feature in an upcoming exhibition write a letter to your english speaking friend tell him about your good news describe photograph tell him to attend the exhibition
I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to express my joy regarding a photograph that I have submitted last week to your local art gallery . As my joy knew no bounds when i found that it has been choosen for an upcoming exhibition which will be held at the end of the July.
4
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The amount of consuming products which contain high level of suger is increasing, with some people claiming that it should be dicrease by make these goods lavish and exorbitant items. I personally accept this, and I will explain why in this essay.

Some people say in other to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why is this? Do you think the government should spend more money supporting the local film industry?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

the deserted house To what extent do you agree or disagree?

a photograph you submitted to your local art gallery has been selected to feature in an upcoming exhibition write a letter to your english speaking friend tell him about your good news describe photograph tell him to attend the exhibition