Some people say in other to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

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It is said that the government should try to reduce

pollution

Use synonyms

in other to prevent illnesses.

This

Linking Words

writer agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement as it will greatly reduce

diseases

Use synonyms

. It must be understood that most

diseases

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come from

pollution

Use synonyms

. Water

pollution

Use synonyms

cause

Replace the word

causes

show examples

stomach pain and air

pollution

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can cause respiratory

problems

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. If the government can reduce these factors, residents will no longer suffer from these

diseases

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. What is more, the locals will not have to complain about environmental issues anymore as the air is fresher and

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

is clean to drink.

This

Linking Words

can improve life quality,

lead

Correct word choice

and lead

show examples

to reducing mental health

problems

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in Ho Chi Minh City, air

pollution

Use synonyms

affects residents heavily. By reducing it, the locals do not have to suffer from breathing

problems

Use synonyms

anymore. Another consideration is if the governments can solve housing

problems

Use synonyms

, there will not be any homeless people living

Change preposition

show examples

the street. They will be less likely to be sick and not spread it to other people,

moreover

Linking Words

, they can

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

a better life and do not have to worry about where to stay and eat.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they will

less

Add a missing verb

be less

show examples

likely to be sick.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the USA, housing

problems

Use synonyms

are solved by building more affordable houses.

As a result

Linking Words

, there are not many homeless people in the city anymore.

Additionally

Linking Words

, hospitals reported that the rate of illnesses

decline

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

over the years. In conclusion, the government should solve

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing

problems

Use synonyms

, because

this

Linking Words

can dramatically reduce illnesses.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

issue is solved, there are not any homeless inhabitants

spread

Correct pronoun usage

who spread

show examples

diseases

Use synonyms

any more.

Thu May 30 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is good, but you can make it stronger by elaborating a bit more on the main points you will discuss in the essay.

logical structure

Your points are generally clear and comprehensive, but sometimes the connections between ideas could be more explicit. Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

relevant specific examples

While you have provided relevant examples, try to make them more specific and directly connected to your points to strengthen your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

logical structure

You raise two main points (environmental pollution and housing problems) and structure your essay well by discussing these points in separate paragraphs.

relevant specific examples

You provide appropriate examples such as the air pollution problem in Ho Chi Minh City and housing issues in the USA, which help support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say in other to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both there views and give your own opinion.

Due to the effects of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a positive process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In some parts of the world people try to find out one's own family history. Why do people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative?

Some people think the government should spend more money on public services rather than waste money on arts (i.e. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries plastic bags are the main source of rubbish causing pollutions in oceans and on land; therefore they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.