Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to "right" and "wrong". Parents should not be the only once responsible. Do you agree or disagree?
It is said that educational institutions need to help
parents
to upbringing
children
with the right life
positions, not only parents
responsible for that. In my opinion, schools having appropriate skills and being a major member of children
's lives should be an important side in pupil's parenting by collaboration with families.
To begin
with, teachers
shaving appropriate education and having the necessary professional skills would be more helpful for offspring than some parents
who suffer themselves from the absence of appropriate behaviour
or social life
skills. In other words
, some parents
having sad relationships or life
experiences in their past may have not a right life
assumption and then
inadvertently transfer their opinion to their children
developing antisocial behaviour
, fairs or furthermore
a sense of self-doubt. As a result
, youngsters seek positive attitudes on other sides such
as from friends, peers or teachers
, and if their teachers
are mature adults with needed qualifications need to help them with their upbringing
and explain to them not only math and physics but also
behave in life
's essentials and values. Hence
, institution is a vital part of a person's development and it is school
workers considered to be the second family to the young generation.
In addition
, I tend to believe that due to
the process of education and upbringing
being inextricably linked, it is crucial for children
that school
plays a vital role in upbringing
through cooperation with the family. This
is because being a vast piece of growth in the school
toddlers mostly learn to communicate in society within the school
's walls and it is teachers
who can observe the first-row pupils’ social interaction with peers and could notice some problems in their behaviour
and help them to develop appropriate life
’s attitudes. Thus
, neglecting to teach moral values alongside academic concepts in schools is hurting students and causing problems in society. For example
, scientists have proven that emotional intelligence is more important than IQ in predicting success.
In conclusion, the institute makes an enormous contribution to a student's life
and is such
an essential factor in their lives I think that schools should help parents
to grow and develop in a proper way by forming the right behaviour
for the future generation.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task response
Despite having a clear stance, there are grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing throughout the essay that disturb the fluency. Try to proofread and make the language smoother.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is coherently structured with clear points, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be more fluid. Using more cohesive devices will make the essay read more smoothly.
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Include more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. This would strengthen the arguments and make the essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Refine the thesis statement in the introduction to be clearer and align it more directly with the main points discussed in the essay.
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The essay presents a clear position on the topic and provides structured arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion nicely frame the essay, summarizing and reinforcing the main points.