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Band 7.5

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?

#people #balance #work #parts #life
Keeping a work-
life
balance
 is one of the most challenging tasks for any person who wishes to pursue the path to success and fulfilment both in one’s personal
life
 and career. A lot of
people
 aim to achieve
this
 goal, but in some cases, there may be some obstacles. In
this
 essay, I am going to explore the issues which have a negative impact on keeping
this
balance
 and propose some solutions to succeed in
this
 endeavour. There are several unfavourable obstacles which keep
people
 from maintaining harmony between their careers and private
life
. One of the most striking ones is the level of
availability
due to
 the advancements in technology. In recent years, with the drastic improvements in technology, workers and staff are always available through their telecommunication devices which allows their bosses to be in touch with them whenever they want even during their non-working hours.
This
availability
 causes an inconvenience for the staff and disrupts their work-
life
balance
. On top of that, some occupations are
also
 problematic because of their very nature consuming a lot of personal time and energy .To exemplify, most administrative and managerial jobs require a constant engagement with the job which could harm the
balance
 of
life
 and work. To address these problems and deal with them effectively, various strategies could be considered. The most effective approach regarding the issue of
availability
 is that
people
 draw a line for their managers and simply ask them not to contact them in their free time, and
also
 elaborate on the extent of the discomfort that they are facing.
Besides
 that, to handle the complications that some carriers face because of their nature, the best solution is to assign alternative administrators to fill in whenever needed in order to reduce the pressure of the job.
For example
, most companies hire a vice director to run the company in the absence of the main director.
To sum up
,
although
people
 try hard to keep a
balance
 both in their career and their
life
, they might encounter some difficulties which occur
as a result
 of
availability
 and the nature of the job. From my viewpoint, The most practical solutions are defining some limits and making some adjustments to reduce the pressure of an occupation. I recommend everyone keep their work-
life
balance
 to lead a peaceful pleasing
life
.
Submitted by basri.fateme on

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task achievement
Ensure every point made is directly tied back to the central theme for maximum clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to make the flow of ideas even smoother.
task achievement
Provide a broader range of specific examples to improve the depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear, logical structure, which helps the reader follow the argument easily.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively executed and provide a strong framework for the essay.
task achievement
The ideas discussed are clear and comprehensive, providing in-depth information about the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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