It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers.
It is important for
people
to take risks
in both their personal and professional lives. Taking risks
can lead to new experiences and knowledge, which contribute to personal growth and satisfaction. In my opinion, the benefits of taking risks
outweigh the drawbacks because people
who take risks
are often more fulfilled and capable of handling future challenges. In this
essay, I will compare the benefits with the drawbacks of taking risks
.
In life, people
often face several problems and must choose the best option. Making these choices can be daunting because risks
inherently involve uncertainty and potential failure. For example
, consider a man who wants to design his own house but hires a consultant instead
because he fears his design might be unpopular or unattractive. In the end, he is dissatisfied with the consultant's design because it does not match his vision. This
example illustrates how avoiding risks
can lead to dissatisfaction.
On the other hand
, people
who are willing to take risks
often unlock new experiences and learn valuable lessons, regardless of the outcome. For instance
, someone might invest in stocks and experience both significant gains and losses. Despite the financial ups and downs, this
person gains a deeper understanding of the stock market and learns how to make better investment decisions in the future. This
experience can be more rewarding than playing it safe and missing out on potential growth.
In conclusion, the advantages of taking risks
, such
as gaining new experiences and knowledge, outweigh the drawbacks. People
should be encouraged to take risks
for a more fulfilling life. By doing so, they can learn to face and control new challenges more effectively.Submitted by innezgracias on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay does a good job of presenting a structured and logical flow of ideas. However, try to ensure that each main point is elaborated with even more details or examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, make sure to provide more detailed and varied examples that clearly show both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Try to delve deeper into the complexities of the topic to show a nuanced understanding. This could involve discussing both the short-term and long-term impacts of taking risks.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to give it a strong structure.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable; each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that are effective in supporting your main points.
task achievement
The language used is clear and comprehensible, facilitating an easy understanding of your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite