Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
assert that the young Use synonyms
generation
is inappropriate for significant roles in Use synonyms
government
Use synonyms
while
others think that it will be a good situation for younger Linking Words
people
to take on their positions. There is a persuasive agreement that more and more young Use synonyms
people
should participate in crucial positions within the Use synonyms
government
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
with long work histories tend to have deeper insights when it comes to decision-makingUse synonyms
,
because they have encountered similar problems in the past and are more likely to lead a governmental organization with a practical approach. It takes time to gain industry-specific knowledge and develop soft skills required for leaders, Remove the comma
apply
such
as conflict management, public speaking, and motivating employees. It would be almost impossible to require a junior officer to obtain all these credentials with little experience. Linking Words
Furthermore
, a great proportion of governmental organisations follow the unwritten rules of traditional seniority, which promotes employees Linking Words
according to
seniority. Selecting young leaders will violate Linking Words
this
norm, affecting the office dynamics detrimentally.
Linking Words
One
the other hand, increasing the extent of the Correct your spelling
On
generation
gap is more accepted as a serious problem in Use synonyms
modren
society. Correct your spelling
modern
For example
, in Korea, the Linking Words
government
is struggling with the young Use synonyms
generation
with problems with housing, employment and so on. Use synonyms
This
is because they don't understand young Linking Words
people
's issues well enough, as the Korean Use synonyms
government
tends to form political groups primarily consisting of the older Use synonyms
generation
. Use synonyms
Thus
, to decrease the Linking Words
generation
gap and solve issues, accepting young Use synonyms
people
in Use synonyms
government
positions.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
some Linking Words
people
argue that young Use synonyms
people
don't do well in important work about Use synonyms
government
, the benefits of reducing the Use synonyms
generation
gap strongly support the idea of giving a position to young Use synonyms
people
. I believe that young Use synonyms
people
know their own situations and problems Use synonyms
while
the other Linking Words
generation
can't catch them.Use synonyms
Submitted by kopopig on
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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that your essay is comprehensive and provides well-rounded arguments on both sides. Currently, the essay provides a good starting point but lacks specific examples and some detailed explanations for the points raised.
coherence cohesion
Improving your coherence and cohesion involves making your ideas flow more smoothly. Use more signposting language, like ‘Additionally’, ‘Moreover’, and ‘Conversely’, to better connect your paragraphs and the points within them.
coherence cohesion
You've done well by having an introduction and conclusion, which adds to the structure of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides logical arguments for both sides of the discussion, which showcases a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
Your introduction successfully outlines the two viewpoints, setting the stage for a balanced discussion.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?