IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

SOMEP PEOPLE THINK THAT THE MODERN COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY IS HAVING A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU DISAGREE OR AGREE.

#somep #people #communication #technology #effect #relationships
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IN AN EVER-PROGRESSIVE
SOCIEY
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SOCIETY
, SOME READERS INDICATE THAT STATE-OF-THE-ART COMMUNICATION
TECHNOOGY
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TECHNOLOGY
 POSE A NEGATIVE IMPACT ON
HUMA
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HUMAN
 RELATIONSHIPS. IN LIGHT OF
THIS
, THE AUTHOR AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT
DUE TO
 SMART
DEVICESHELP
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DEVICES HELP
 INDIVIDUALS TIGHTEN AND EXPAND THEIR
CONNECTION
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CONNECTIONS
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. IT I ESSENTIAL TO UNDERSTAND THAT
PEOPLE
 CAN REINFORCE AND FOSTER INTERPERSONAL BONDS THROUGH MODERN GADGETS.
IN OTHER WORDS
,
PHONE
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PHONES
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,
COMPUTER
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COMPUTERS
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 AND OTHER SMART DEVICES IN GENERAL OFFER
ITS
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THEIR
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 USERS
NUMBEROUS
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NUMEROUS
 WAYS TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THE COMMUNITY
SUCH
 AS VIDEO CALLS, CHATTING AND TEXTIG.
AS A RESULT
,
PEOPLE
 ARE CAPABLE OF STAYING CLOSE WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AT ANY
PLACES
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PLACE
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 AND TIME. ONE CLEAR CASE
ABOUT
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OF
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THIS
 IS ZIOLES, A NEW PLATFORM,
ALLOWS
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THAT ALLOWS
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 USERS TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OTHERS WITHOUT WIFI PROVISION.
THEREFORE
,
PEOPLE
 COULD LEVERAGE
THIS
 BREAKTHROUGH TO TIGHTEN THEIR SOCIAL LINKS. ANOTHER STANDPOINT WORTH CONSIDERING IS
HAT
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THAT
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 HUMANS ARE CAPABLE OF EXPANDING
THE
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apply
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RELATIONSHIPS VASTLY THANKS TO MODERN COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY.
THIS
 IS
DUE TO
 THE FACT THAT MOST
OF
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apply
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SOCIAL APPS WHICH ARE AVAILABLE ON MOBILE
PHONE
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PHONES
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 OR
LAPTOP
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LAPTOPS
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 POSSESS A FRIEND SUGGESTION FUNCTION.
CONSEQUENTLY
, CLIENTS CAN UTILIZE
THIS
 ADVANCEMENT TO SEEK
FOR
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apply
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THOSE WHO ARE IN COMMON WITH THEMSELVES.
FOR EXAMPLE
, FACEBOOK USUALLY ASK FOR
CLIENTS'S
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CLIENTS '
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 HOBBIES WHEN THEY FIRST SET UP THEIR PROFILES IN ORDER TO PROVIDE THEM
A
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WITH A
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LIST OF
PEOPLE
 WHOSE HABITS ARE SIMILAR. TAKING ALL POINTS INTO ACCOUNT, BROADENING AND REINFORCING HUMAN SOCIAL NETWORKING ARE ESSENTIAL POINTS WORTH NEGOTIATING.
HENCE
, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEARLY ILLUSTRATED THAT SMART GADGETS BRING ADVANTAGEOUS
EFFECT
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EFFECTS
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N
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ON
 HUMAN BONDS.

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grammar
Work on spelling and grammatical accuracy. There are several spelling mistakes (e.g., 'SOCIETY', 'HUMA', 'TECHNOGY', 'NUMBEROUS') and missing or incorrect words that distract from the overall message.
coherence
Enhance the logical flow by clearly linking ideas between paragraphs. Consider using transitional phrases more frequently to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
task response
Develop ideas more comprehensively. While examples are given, some ideas lack depth and specificity, making your argument less persuasive. Expand on how modern communication technology strengthens human relationships with more detailed explanations, or consider incorporating counterarguments and refuting them.
task response
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the strengthening and expanding of social relationships through modern communication technology, showing a clear position on the subject.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, setting up the essay and summarizing the main points well.
relevant examples
Relevant examples, like the mention of video calls and the social platform ZIOLES, enhance the discussion and illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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