Nowadays more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the adventages of this trend for individuals overweigh its disadventages for the environment?

#people #cars #adventages #trend #individuals #overweigh #disadventages #environment

These days, a great number of

people

own their own

cars

, which has become a concerning issue in many parts of the world. I believe that the disadvantages of

this

trend outweigh the advantages,

due to

environmental and traffic problems. On the one hand, there are several reasons to support the view that owning a personal car has positive effects on citizens.

Firstly

, as more

people

purchase their private

cars

, many individuals experience greater convenience in their lives.

For instance

, one significant positive impact is that

people

with disabilities can travel to places they could not visit in the past. In short, there is no doubt that having a personal car enhances

people

's mobility and freedom.

On the other hand

, I suggest that there are significant drawbacks to

this

phenomenon because it brings crucial problems to society.

To begin

with, environmental pollution is a major issue caused by personal

cars

, which contribute significantly to air pollution.

According to

academic research, air pollution has become a primary concern since the invention of

cars

, as they use fossil fuels and emit exhaust gases.

Moreover

, traffic congestion is a serious concern. In the same vein, most

people

spend a considerable amount of their commute time on the road, leading to wasted time.

Therefore

, it seems to me that the disadvantages have more significant impacts on the public, as these negative effects affect the entire society, not just individuals. In conclusion,

this

issue is complex, with pros and cons for both perspectives.

Although

cars

have made our lives more convenient, I believe that the negative effects outweigh the positive aspects.

Hence

people

should make an effort to reduce

this

phenomenon by using public transportation rather than relying on their own

cars

Submitted by kimjy3329 on Fri May 31 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to expand a bit more on the advantages of using personal cars and provide a balanced perspective. This will make the argument more comprehensive and well-rounded.

coherence cohesion

Strive to maintain a balance between cohesion and readability by using varied linking words and phrases. This will help in making the essay flow more naturally.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, with relevant main points supported by examples.

coherence cohesion

The arguments are logically structured and well-organized, making it easy to follow the writer’s line of reasoning.

task achievement

The task response is complete, addressing both advantages and disadvantages, and the ideas are clearly articulated.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adventages
disadventages
trend
individuals
overweigh
environment
convenience
flexibility
transportation
time-saving
efficient
commuting
independence
freedom
travel
ownership
status
employment opportunities
automobile industry
air pollution
greenhouse gas emissions
climate change
traffic congestion
loss of green spaces
wildlife habitats
dependence
fossil fuels

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Nowadays more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the adventages of this trend for individuals overweigh its disadventages for the environment?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Human activities have had a negative effect on ecosystem, animals and plants across the world. Some people believe this can not changed while others feel that we can still take action to protect living things and the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future.

It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent (widespread) and eventually replace traditional foods and methods of preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?