Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective way to do this.
Most citizens claim that prohibiting vehicle use in a
day
can effectively clean the Use synonyms
air
, Use synonyms
while
others suggest that there are other alternatives. Linking Words
While
that prohibition leads to better Linking Words
air
condition effectively, other policies are not as effective as that. Because of that, I think vehicle prohibition once weekly is the best way to increase the environment's health.
The vehicle-free Use synonyms
day
serves as an action to improve the Use synonyms
overall
environment’s Linking Words
air
aspect. Use synonyms
Moreover
, that policy Linking Words
also
could be paralleled with other actions. Activities Linking Words
such
as jogging and cycling are usually being done by people on that. Linking Words
As a result
, many people are not using vehicles that harm the environment as they prefer for jogging or cycling. Linking Words
Therefore
, it will reduce the amount of pollution in those days. That was proven by government research on Linking Words
air
elements on a sample of one car-free Use synonyms
day
and its effect on society in 2017. Research shows that the Use synonyms
air
quality was improved to 2.1 out of 10 on a scale of the global Use synonyms
air
pollution index. Use synonyms
In addition
, citizens' lung capacity was Linking Words
also
increased by 70% from daily averages. But the important thing is, Linking Words
this
is the evidence that Linking Words
this
Linking Words
movement
improves Use synonyms
air
quality.
Where there are plenty of acts other than traffics-free days that are being conducted by governments, most of them are more focused on reducing the traffic Use synonyms
instead
of on the environment's health. Linking Words
Thus
, they are not as effective as that. Linking Words
Additionally
, other operations were more related to traffic than environmental issues, making other healthy activities could not be done at the same time. Linking Words
As a result
, they are not as effective as the first Linking Words
movement
. To compare that, research was done by the World Health Organization to find the most efficient Use synonyms
movement
among others Use synonyms
such
as 3 in-1, odd-even policy, etc. It shows that the vehicle-free Linking Words
movement
is 50% above them. Use synonyms
Hence
it shows that the action is the most efficient among them. Linking Words
As a consequence
, that experiment makes me think other activities are not as effective as that, making that suggestion wrong.
In short, a car-free Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
movement
is an efficient way to improve Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
air
trait. Whilst other exercises were focused on the traffic, the car-free Use synonyms
day
was not. Ergo, it makes me think other citizens' claims are wrong.Use synonyms
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly and logically presented. Some of the points are not fully fleshed out, and it's a bit unclear why you believe other policies are less effective.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and phrasing to ensure your points are clear and concise. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased. For example, 'prohibiting vehicle use in a day can effectively clean the air' could be rephrased to 'prohibiting vehicle use for a day can significantly improve air quality.'
task achievement
Use relevant specific examples to strengthen your argument. The essay cites a study from 2017 but doesn't provide enough detail about the study or other examples to fully support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between paragraphs to ensure smooth flow of ideas. For instance, the shift from the car-free day to other policies could be made more seamless.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You have utilized a study as a supporting point, which is a good way to enhance the credibility of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?