Nowadays,people are choosing to socialise online rather than face-to-face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #development

It cannot be denied that technological advancements have brought a diverse range of possibilities in various aspects of life, and

this

is evident in today's online communication methods.

Although

these advancements have made it easier to keep in touch with loved ones, I believe they represent a negative development

due to

the sense of

isolation

they can foster and the potential for

blackmail

involving shared videos or photos. One serious problem caused by online socializing is that it can lead to

isolation

. In the past, people would converse face-to-face to discuss their daily lives rather than using virtual communication. Being part of a social group provided more opportunities to share ideas and events occurring in their personal lives, ensuring they never felt isolated from society.

However

, today’s generation utilizes social media platforms

such

as Facebook, Instagram, and Telegram without recognizing the potential consequences, which include a heightened risk of

isolation

in the long run. Another issue stemming from the use of virtual communication is

blackmail

. When users share personal photos or videos with close friends via platforms like Telegram or WhatsApp, there is always a risk involved. Relationships can change, and those who were once trusted friends may turn into enemies or rivals and misuse shared private content against them.

For example

, couples often share intimate photos or videos to strengthen their bonds.

However

, some individuals might use these personal belongings to

blackmail

their former partners, demanding money to prevent the public posting of these private materials, which can lead to significant embarrassment.

Therefore

, using social media to talk to friends or acquaintances may pose a threat to individuals' private lives. In conclusion,

although

social media platforms offer some benefits, I believe the problems they cause,

such

isolation

and the potential for

blackmail

, mean they have not brought about positive developments

overall

Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

Try to add a bit more depth to your examples to make your argument even stronger. For instance, you could explore specific cases or statistics that highlight the extent of these problems.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is very clear, a few more linking phrases could enhance the overall flow.

task achievement

You have provided clear and relevant examples to support your main points, which makes your argument more credible.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your discussion.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays,people are choosing to socialise online rather than face-to-face. Is this a positive or negative development?

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