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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Number of tourists visiting a Caribbean island (2010-2017)

#tourists #caribbean #island
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Given is a line graph depicting information on
aquantity
Correct your spelling
quantity
a quantity
of individuals who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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one of the Caribbean islands over the period of 7 years. Units are given in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is evident from the graph that there have been constant upward trends in two categories : cruise ships and island residents. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of “total”
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
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 saw exponential growth over the period given in the question. As for the details, in 2010 total
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists began at 1 million, after which the figure started to rise substantially to about 2.8 . Before having witnessed a sharp increase to 3.5 in 2017, the figure
then
Linking Words
 remained steady for a year at 2.8 in 2016. With regard to the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists staying on cruise ships, It fluctuated at approximately under 0.5 million in the early 2 years of the time.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, there was a constant rapid uphill by 2 in 2017.
In contrast
Linking Words
, unlike
abovementioned
Correct article usage
the abovementioned
show examples
 categories, the
number
Use synonyms
 of island residents remained unchanged at below 0.5 between 2010 and 2011.
However
Linking Words
, the trend
then
Linking Words
 commenced to rise significantly by 1.5 million in 2013. Despite fluctuating around over 3 years, the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists, staying on the island,recovered to its former status.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion. While you provided a clear overall trend, summarizing the key points would enhance the impact.
task achievement
Clarify some sentence structures to prevent misinterpretation. For example: 'It fluctuated at approximately under 0.5 million...' could be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to make your points stronger. Detailed data points help reinforce your observations and analysis.
task achievement
Provided a thorough description of trends in the graph, noting key changes and overall trends.
coherence cohesion
Good use of comparative language to illustrate changes over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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