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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

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It is argued that the educational system, which consists of mentors and pupils studying in the classroom, will be changed by the year 2050. I totally agree with
this
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 statement because of the impact of the advancement of technology and the busy lifestyle of the metropolis. Technology advancement has a direct impact on educational methods.
To begin
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 with, thanks to technology a new style of learning has been developed which allows the young generation to study
from
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at
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 their home. Distance learning through various kinds of applications caused real classrooms to transform into virtual classes, which means that teachers and pupils could participate in a course via their accounts.
For instance
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, the platforms
such
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 as Google Meet take over
the
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apply
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institutes and schools, and the majority of
people
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 tend to use these platforms
instead
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 of going to a class.
Besides
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, the internet provides us with the chance to access a massive amount of information about different subjects. The tremendous numbers of educational videos that are shared on the net for free lead some
people
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 to learn a new subject by self-study without a class enrollment.
This
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 trend has changed the ancient method of teaching. The majority of
people
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 live in the big cities and their urban lifestyle prevents them from going to school.
Firstly
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, the traffic congestions are overwhelming in many parts of the world, particularly in the metropolis. The individuals do not have extra time to spend on the streets in order to reach a place for learning.
As a result
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, either teachers or students prefer to study through the internet from their own place.
Secondly
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, environmental problems
such
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 as air pollution force the citizens to limit their short journeys, like going to school every day. Cutting down the number of commuting and holding classes online will decrease air pollution significantly. If the individuals studied through their laptops from home, the emission of carbon dioxide would be controlled. In conclusion, I completely agree that the old method, which keeps the teachers and students in the classroom in order to learn a new subject, should be changed in the next twenty years.
Due to
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 the technological progression and urban intensive lifestyle
people
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 have to lessen their daily journey and use the internet more for their educational goals.

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relevant specific examples
While your essay is well-structured and your ideas are clear, ensure that your examples are even more specific to strengthen your argument. For instance, you can mention specific studies or statistics to support your points.
logical structure
Although your ideas are comprehensive, try to incorporate a few more linking words and phrases to further enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will improve the cohesion of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
The essay is very well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow and understand your main points.
supported main points
Your use of technology and urban lifestyle as supporting arguments is very effective. These are relevant and timely examples that support your stance well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
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