The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.

The graph below shows the average number of UK

commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between

1970 and 2030.
The line graph illustrates
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
transport made by local people living in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
from 1970 to 2030.
Overall
, commuters' travel preferences were cars
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
place,
while
bus and train use
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
slightly different with the amount.
Thus
,
at the end
of the
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
bus users were the least of all three. Private cars were
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
popular from the very
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of 1970 , which was the highest on
records
Fix the agreement mistake
record
show examples
for having about 6 m commuters on
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
scale. Automobile statistics had fluctuations over the years
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in 2000
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
interest in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
was more than 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
At the end
of
this
period,
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
made its highest increase of 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2030.
On the other hand
, public transportation took less attention than the previous. In 1970 bus users index was closer to
car's
Change the noun form
cars
car
show examples
with around 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
However
, for the rest of the
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
quantitiy
Correct your spelling
quantity
of
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
hit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rock bottom and faced
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
lowest depending on
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
train usage had increasing numbers and made 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
at the end
of the season.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words millions with synonyms.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: