Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

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In recent years, there

are

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have been

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many

people

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who have more excessive weight than ever before.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss some reasons why

this

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has occurred and examine the consequences of

this

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worrying trend. The main cause of

this

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reason is the aggressive marketing of unhealthy foods. It means that

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there are a wide variety of junk food advertisements along streets outside and on the internet. It attracts

people

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to buy more foods that contain high-sugar, oil and high-calorie products.

Furthermore

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, the modern

lifestyle

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involves less physical activity

due to

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desk jobs, long commutes, and increased screen time .

As a result

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people

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get obese because of a sedentary

lifestyle

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For instance

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, the USA is at the top of the list among

people

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who suffer from excessive weight. The effect of

this

Linking Words

has been and will continue to be very serious. It is a fact that there is a big chance of getting diabetes or heart disease because of wrong nutrition, especially, if it is made of junk food.

Furthermore

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people

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may have serious health issues

such

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as bone aches or constant headaches

as well as

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psychological problems

due to

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a sedentary

lifestyle

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As a result

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, humanity will face obesity, if they do not follow a healthy diet and maintain an active

lifestyle

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. As an example,

according to

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the United Nations, diabetes is the most widespread type of disease among obese

people

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To sum up

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, many and many

people

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get obese from day to day. It is caused by a lack of physical activity and

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good marketing of unhealthy foods that can lead to serious consequences

such

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as heart disease and diabetes, psychological and health issues.

burtebaeva02Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate further on how the aggressive marketing directly impacts individuals' choices and behaviors to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that there is smooth transitioning between sentences and paragraphs for better flow and coherence.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific data or studies to strengthen the points made about the sedentary lifestyle and its relationship to obesity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the discussion well.

task achievement

Main points are relevant and supported with specific examples such as mentioning the USA and statistics from the United Nations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Your opinion

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Directors and managers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers while others think this is the roll of parents.

Telling the truth at all times is not essential. On some occasions it is necessary to tell lies, and it is wrong to tell the truth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.