Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Peer
pressure
refers to the influence young individuals
experience within the same age group,
affecting their behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
This
essay will critically evaluate the drawbacks and benefits of peer
pressure
on young people.
It is vital to understand that peer
pressure
often leads young individuals
to engage in risky behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
For instance
, teenagers may feel compelled to experiment with drugs due to
the effect of their peers who engage in such
activities. The desire to fit in and be accepted can override their better judgment, exposing them to serious short-term health risks and potential addiction later in life. Moreover
, succumbing to negative peer
pressure
can adversely affect academic performance, as students may prioritize social acceptance over their studies. This
desire for approval can result in poor grades, limited educational opportunities, and long-term negative consequences.
On the other hand
, positive peer
pressure
can inspire young individuals
to set higher goals, adopt healthier habits, and strive for academic excellence. Many teenagers are pressured by their peers to join a study group, leading to improved learning outcomes and academic success. Relatedly, supportive friends can inspire young individuals
to engage in physical fitness activities or pursue positive hobbies and talents, promoting a healthier and more well-rounded lifestyle. This
sense of camaraderie and mutual encouragement fostered within positive peer
groups can contribute significantly to personal growth and self-confidence. Actively seeking out positive and active peer
groups and engaging in behaviors
aligned with one's personal values can help mitigate the adverse effects of negative Change the spelling
behaviours
peer
pressure
while
harnessing the advantages of positive influence.
In conclusion, although
peer
pressure
encourages risky behaviors
and hinders personal growth, the motivational and emotional Change the spelling
behaviours
advantage
make it a positive on the whole. Ultimately, striking some degree of balance between independence and positive Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
peer
interactions is crucial to minimizing the disadvantages and embracing the benefits.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Consider incorporating a few more examples or studies to support your arguments, which would provide stronger evidence for your points.
task achievement
While your conclusion is strong, adding a summary of the key points covered in the essay could enhance its comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases that link ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Watch for small grammatical errors or awkward phrasing that might affect the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, presenting both sides of the argument clearly and concluding with a balanced view.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and purpose of the essay, and the conclusion provides a thoughtful summary and closing statement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example