IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write about the following topic : All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades, To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #children #study #language #school #grades #answers
It is thought by a selection of individuals that the younger generations need to learn and study a foreign
language
 when they are around the first grades at school. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
 notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion. All the outset, there are several benefits of teaching children in their earliest grades and one of the most significant is that they are like blank canvases. To elaborate
further
, children in these ages are ready to learn and explore new things, including a new
language
.
Moreover
, they tend not to be distracted from other concerns or thinking about their future which in turn allows them
focus
Add the particle
to focus
show examples
 and concentrate more on studying a foreign
language
. An apt illustration of
this
 is my cousin who is now studying in grade 2 always keen on learning the
English
language
 and he tries to watch his fun and enjoyable cartoons in
English
.
In addition
,
although
 the cost of living in our society is getting higher and the unemployment rate is rising, he remains unconcerned and focuses on learning
English
.
Additionally
, another clear upside to
highlight
Wrong verb form
highlighting
show examples
 my idea is that these younger ones are easy to encourage and motivate. To explain in greater detail, with the helpful and productive advice from teachers and parents, they will become more confident talking in another
language
 .
Furthermore
, they are not shy, hesitate or feel ashamed to ask questions, even if they seem nonsensical. To specifically demonstrate, my aunt regularly talks to him in
English
 to motivate him to respond in the same
language
, making his child
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
familiar with it;
besides
, when he makes mistakes or asks questions, my aunt always corrects and provides detailed explanations in fun ways which makes him wants to learn more. All in all, starting to learn a foreign
language
 in schools in the early years provides our offspring with numerous benefits. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 idea as young children are ready to explore and delve into new things;
moreover
, they are easier to encourage and motivate compared to older individuals.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You've done a great job outlining your main points with clear, structured paragraphs. To further enhance your essay, consider adding a few more transitional phrases to ensure smoother flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Your response is comprehensive and well-supported with relevant examples. However, making sure to expand on each point a bit more thoroughly can help fully achieve the task requirement.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present your viewpoint, adding strength to your overall argument.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, particularly about your cousin and aunt, are specific and add depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • linguistic skills
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • multitasking
  • cultural awareness
  • open-minded
  • global understanding
  • linguistic plasticity
  • pronunciation
  • grammar
  • imposing
  • frustration
  • disinterest
  • balanced
  • overemphasis
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • well-rounded education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: