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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, many professionals choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in another counter which is not an area where they acquire a qualification. Some people think experts should
work
Use synonyms
 in the country where they are trained,
however
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, in my view, I disagree with
this
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 opinion and approve that professionals can be free to
work
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 in another state
according to
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 their wishes. Granted, there are many reasons to explain why a government require professional individuals to find jobs in a region where they are educated.
Firstly
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, training an expert will cost numerous resources which come from the nation’s revenue, so it is reasonable to prohibit these
specialists
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 from working in other countries.
Secondly
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, experienced individuals can play a significant role in national development.
For example
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, a team of experts can support a local government in establishing an industrial cluster, thereby creating numerous job opportunities for the local residents.
However
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, reaching the above conclusion does not necessarily mean that the benefits of international
talents
Change the noun form
talent
show examples
 exchange can be ignored. From a personal perspective, allowing talented people to
work
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 abroad can promote the exchange of techniques, which helps these experts learn some new things which are difficult to reach in the state where they are educated. For another thing, the world economy will become more efficient if we allow
specialists
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 to freely choose their workplaces.
This
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 is mainly because
specialists
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 can easily secure suitable positions anywhere in the world.
For instance
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, if a country cannot provide a job for talents who have studied in
this
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 state, they can travel to other areas which need them. To summarize,
although
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 there are some reasons to support that governments should keep the professionals working in their nations, I still believe we should allow the free international
specialists
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' exchange considering its advantages of personal development and the economic efficiency of the world.

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Task Achievement
You presented a clear position throughout the response, yet the argument warrants further expansion. The essay somewhat addresses all parts of the task, but the coverage of the two views and your own view needs to be more balanced and developed with more specific and pertinent examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure introduction and conclusion do a better job of summarizing the main points and clearly stating your own view. While you do provide a summary, it would benefit from being more explicit in concluding thoughts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand on the main points by incorporating more fully developed and distinct ideas that directly relate to the topic. Each main point should be more extensively explained and supported by concrete examples or data.
Task Achievement
While your essay generally maintains relevance to the topic, delve deeper into each view by providing more distinct and detailed examples to illustrate the arguments. Doing so would enhance the relevancy of your examples, thereby improving task completion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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