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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The importance of child development which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
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 others reject
this
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 notion. The substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion,
parents
Use synonyms
 and schools can work together to develop good members of society.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate both views of
this
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 trend and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad reasons which will
further
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 explain
this
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 argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that
children
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 start the journey from home, and
Parents
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 are the first teachers of the child. They are more connected with their
parents
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 than any other people.
Therefore
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, from the beginning of their life,
parents
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 give them a basic idea of life, and
parents
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 have the moral responsibility of teaching
children
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 about social and cultural values. Another pivotal aspect of
this
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 argument is that
children
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 follow their elders and grow up to be better human beings.
For example
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, on the dining table,
parents
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 should tell their kids to eat quietly and not make unnecessary noise which can develop into a good habit. Needless to say, all these merits stand in a good stand.
On the other hand
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, educational institutes provide a specialized environment for minors in both academic and moral fields. In school,
children
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 interact with other kids which creates positive competition. Schools can create a conducive environment for social development through extracurricular activities and community involvement. In my opinion, both
parents
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 and schools should collaborate to ensure a holistic approach to teaching
children
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 about society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Further develop your examples to make them more specific and impactful. For instance, you could provide more details about specific extracurricular activities in schools.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument fairly well, and your opinion is clear in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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