Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years

It is often argued that learning full-time at

school

until young teenagers aged 18. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

statement and will give the reasons to tackle it. It is vital to understand that

students

need to focus on gaining knowledge. At

this

age, children do not need to do anything and just concentrate on

listen

Change the verb form

listening

show examples

to the lesson at

school

and doing homework every day.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they should more practice to prepare for the future. It is easy for

students

to analyse the information and grasp the answer correctly. They should have a position at

school

because it will teach them to have

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

good social skills.

For instance

, many schools will organize events to connect other countries together and

this

is a good chance for

students

to communicate with foreign

students

However

, some suggest that spending all time at

school

until the age of 18. A diploma will help

students

in many aspects of job opportunities. The main reason for

this

thinking is that

students

will have a great career. The ones will increase their chances of getting a successful job. In general, people with a diploma have more chances of getting work is better than people without a degree.

In other words

students

who have full degrees until college will boost their ability to apply for a job with high salaries in the future. In conclusion, some individuals believe that everyone should be in full-time education until they reach the age of 18.

Tue Jun 04 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance. The essay starts abruptly and can confuse the reader.

Task Achievement

Incorporate clear and relevant examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs. Ensure each sentence naturally leads to the next.

Task Achievement

Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some points are vague and need further elaboration.

Task Achievement

Proofread your work to avoid grammatical and punctuation errors. This will help in presenting your ideas more clearly.

Task Achievement

The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides some valid reasons and examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

The usage of connectors and transition words helps in maintaining a general flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

comprehensive education
intellectual growth
emotional growth
social growth
evolving job market
specialized knowledge
extended education
reducing inequality
essential competencies
vocational training
economic impact
financial constraints
infrastructure
stress and burnout
personal aspirations
career aspirations

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Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

the raise of social media platforms has made it easier for poeple to went their frustations and complaints publically. What is the consequence of this trend? is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always good. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion!

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?