in many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?
It is widely known that there is a decline in the number of plants and
animals
in many nations. Globalization is the main reason behind this
phenomenon and this
writer strongly believes that building more zoos and mixing between trees
and buildings are feasible solutions.
Globalized trend is the primary contributor to the decrease of animals
and plants. Indeed, globalization means that many big cities tend to learn from each other to enhance their infrastructure,
and build high skyscrapers with many megamalls, requiring an enormous amount of land to conduct Remove the comma
apply
this
construction. Therefore
, many trees
have to be cut down to make way for construction purposes in many plains and forests. Moreover
, forests are the exclusive shelters for many faunas to live, so after deforestation, they have to relocate to unusual places with more extreme weather and dangerous predators. Besides
, they can also
be hunted when knocking down trees
for construction
process in a convenient and safe condition.
To address Correct article usage
the construction
this
problem, the governments have to employ a variety of actions to protect animals
and floras. Chie of these is that more zoos should be erected in the cities to preserve faunas from the risks of the loss of habitat and the substantial supply of food. Thus
, they can proliferate in a safe environment. Furthermore
, many trees
can be blended into many buildings, by planting them on the top roof or along the streets, for instance
. By doing this
, the space for residents, businesses and plants is guaranteed.
In conclusion, the downward trend of floras and faunas is mainly attributed to globalization. Combining trees
with cities as well as
erecting more preservation for animals
are viable approaches to this
issue.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, outlining the causes and possible solutions to the decline in the number of plants and animals. However, some of your points lack specific examples and depth. For instance, when discussing globalization, provide more detailed examples of how urbanization impacts specific species or ecosystems.
coherence cohesion
While your essay demonstrates a logical structure, moving from causes to solutions effectively, there are areas that can be improved. Try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Some sentences and ideas seem a bit abrupt or disjointed. For example, the transition between discussing deforestation and hunting in the second paragraph can be made more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-presented, but they could benefit from further development and support. Ensure that each point you make is backed up with specific evidence and examples. For instance, when suggesting building more zoos, discuss the benefits and drawbacks more explicitly and provide real-world examples if possible.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are strong and fulfill their purpose well. They clearly outline what the essay will discuss and provide a summary of your main points. Just make sure that the body of the essay matches the strength of your opening and closing.
structure
You have a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task achievement
The essay topic is addressed directly and effectively, showing a good understanding of the issue.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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