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Band 7.5

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
Due to
 the globalized educational environment, it is commonly debated whether money should be invested chiefly in computers or educators.
This
 writer asserts that
although
 digital classes are interactive, they should be replaced by learning with beaks which is more efficient and guaranteed. Admittedly, the most advantageous aspect of allocating more to schools and teachers is to avoid getting exposed to smart devices for too long. It must be recognized that learners have to glue their eyes to the screen most of the time when using gadgets, which
consequently
 afflicts their eyesight.
Additionally
, the knowledge that pupils acquire from their educators is censored and far more reliable.
As a result
, the government
as well as
 institutions ought to finance more qualified lecturers
instead
 of digital lessons.
However
, spending money on advanced computers can be an opportunity for juveniles to get access to the world. As for the interaction and availability of the internet, students nowadays become more active in exploiting the use of online materials including courses, documents and other engines. Despite the fact that they can supply a wide range of information and appeals, it is apparent that high-quality schoolmasters and engaging lectures delivered by them play a crucial role in fulfilling one's acquisition.
This
 essay's perspective,
however
, is to focus on enhancing the quality of teachers.
This
 is because students would be partly influenced by people around them,
therefore
 an inspired and well-educated model helps promote their learning spirit and motivate them.
Consequently
,
this
 writer is swayed by the latter statement as the opposite requires less support.
To sum up
, the interactive functions are outweighed by dedicated schoolmasters, health concerns and sufficiency. The writer of
this
 essay no doubt advocates that the idea of investing primarily in lecturers should be utilized with the least hassle.
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task achievement
The essay responds well to the task, discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, try to use more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, ensure smoother transitions between some ideas.
task achievement
Good job discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each point is well-supported with relevant arguments, keeping the essay focused.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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