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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally.

#development #tourism #english #language #world #people
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In recent years, the tourism industry has developed , so it has led English to
the
Add a missing verb
be the
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 most dominant
language
 in the globe.
Although
this
 trend could facilitate global
communication
 and international trade, it could result in the vanishing of different cultures around the world. To commence with, there will be various positive impacts on world
communication
 if all individuals speak in one
language
.
In other words
, international
communication
, global commerce and diplomatic negotiations could be simpler and more effective, since there will not be
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 barrier any more.
For example
, companies or countries do not need to recruit simultaneous translator for their negotiations.
Also
, the level of misunderstanding will be decreased.
Consequently
, tensions in relationships will be declined, as well.
On the other hand
, the
language
 of each country is the deputy of its culture.
Therefore
, when the mother tongue of a country fades away,
then
 the culture will disappear ,so all countries will be the same and there will not be any attraction for tourists.
As a result
, not only will the economy of nations be affected, but
also
 travel enjoyment will be liquidated.
For instance
, the tourist industry is the third source of income in Turkey, so it can have a big impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people's lives. Even these days , many countries try to animate dead languages as a part of their traditions and cultures of the country. In a nutshell, having a common
language
 in the world could improve people's relationships and secure better
communication
, but the differences between individuals create beauty and attraction.
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grammar
Ensure to check for minor grammatical errors like unnecessary commas and sentence fragments, e.g. 'has led English to the most dominant language in the globe' should be 'has led English to become the most dominant language in the world.'
sentence structure
Some sentences are overly lengthy and could be broken down for better clarity. For example, 'Therefore, when the mother tongue of a country fades away, then the culture will disappear, so all countries will be the same and there will not be any attraction for tourists' can be simplified.
task response
The essay provides a well-rounded response to the task with balanced arguments.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
examples
The examples used to support points are relevant and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prominent
  • Contribute
  • Global
  • Advantages
  • Disadvantages
  • Communication
  • Understanding
  • Ease
  • Business
  • Trade
  • Cultural exchange
  • Unity
  • Access
  • Information
  • Simplify
  • Travel
  • Tourism
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