Some people think that children should begin their formal educatiom at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is suggested that
children
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start their formal
education
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at as early
age
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as possible, but 7
years
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old is the optimal
age
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to start
education
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.
Although
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children
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learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic knowledge and language
skills
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between 4 and 6
years
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old,
children
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's brains are totally ready for learning at 7
years
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old. Between 4 and 6
years
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old, the brains of
children
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focus on only grasping new information. If they start their
education
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at
this
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age
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, it may be easy to develop basic language
skills
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and learn main knowledge
such
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as basic calculation, alphabet, numbers and so on.
However
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, at
this
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period, it is required to take care individually of each child.
Therefore
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, schools are not the right childcare environment for very young people.
On the other hand
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, 7
years
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old is the optimal
age
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for beginning formal
education
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. The main reason is that the brains of
children
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are more active than in other
age
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periods. Problem-solving
skills
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, creativity, understanding, protecting themselves and
such
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kinds of
skills
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are developed at
this
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age
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.
Moreover
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,
children
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start social communication with others at
this
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age
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.
This
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means that they can make new friends and interact with school teachers. From
statistical
Add an article
a statistical
show examples
perspective, in some countries, where formal
education
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starts at 7
years
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old, the
education
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system is more effective than in other countries.
Thus
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,
children
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should go to school at least 7
years
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old. In conclusion,
children
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can learn basic knowledge at an early
age
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. But, 7
years
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old is the optimal
age
Use synonyms
for starting formal
education
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
It's important to elaborate more on specific examples and provide data or studies to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention studies that show cognitive development peaks at certain ages.
task achievement
Your main points are generally clear, but there is room to improve the sophistication and relevance of your examples. Try to address potential counterarguments to strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical flow, integrating linking phrases and transition words can further enhance coherence. This will make your arguments more connected and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are effective, reinforcing key points in the conclusion would provide a more compelling finish and emphasize your stance more strongly.
coherence cohesion
The clear structure of your essay, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, makes it very readable.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach and strengthens your overall response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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