Some people think that developments involving the internet have brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Few people are of the opinion that
advent
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the advent
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in
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of
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technology and
internet
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the internet
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has connected people irrespective of their residence
while
others contradict that it has developed a gap between
human
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humans
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resulting in
bereft
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a bereft
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of direct communication causing
a
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apply
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distress in their
relationship
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relationships
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. My opinion is divided and reasonings shall be discussed in the following passages. On one hand,
the
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apply
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technology and its tangential aspects are developing at a
lightening
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lightning
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speed. Applications
such
as
the
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apply
show examples
Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp are helping mankind connect regardless of where they live. Without the aforementioned apps, talking to our loved ones who
resides
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reside
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on the other side of the world could cost
fortune
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a fortune
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and it can
also
be difficult due
the
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to the
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time
factor.
However
, with
this
advanced
technology
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technology,
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we are able to connect with them in one touch and at
fraction
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a fraction
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of
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the costs
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costs
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cost
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.
For example
, during COVID-19 I was away from my family
due to
work
commitment
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commitments
show examples
. I wasn't able to return home
due to
travel
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a travel
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ban. During,
this
strenuous
time
we all managed to stay connected through WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger. Without
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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we would have experienced depression
due to
lack of communication. Having said that,
on the contrary
, some say people are often isolated because many spend more
time
on social media
instead
of communicating with their loved ones. Despite being closer, they feel far away and lonely. Scrolling down reels and videos
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
taken precedence over spending quality
time
with family and friends.
In addition
, citizens have started to forget their own parents, partners and sibling's birthday's, anniversaries, and other important dates. Failing to wish them on significant days makes their kith and kin feel left out.
Also
, some only wish through
message
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messages
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.
This
simply depicts that they do not have
time
to call their relatives or friends to even make a call.
For instance
, my best friend who always
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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it a point to call me on my birthday has not called me since the evolution of
the
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apply
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Facebook. She only messages me which has
costed
Wrong verb form
cost
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our friendship
and
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apply
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thus
making me assume
i
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I
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am not of any importance to her.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
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, I believe that advancement in any field is necessary for globalization. But it should not happen at the cost of diminishing the importance of
relationship
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a relationship
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.
Balanced
Add an article
A balanced
The balanced
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approach
of
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to
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using
internet
Add an article
the internet
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and other social media can foster a more cohesive environment for all humans.
Submitted by u.umayal92 on

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task response
Your essay needs a clearer statement of your own opinion in the introduction. Be more direct and explicit in stating your stance.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid run-on sentences and improve clarity.
task response
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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