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Band 7

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agre or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit #agre
Some
people
 opine that juveniles should have to serve communities for free in their leisure
time
 because
this
 can help them to be good and benefit society.
However
, I disagree with
this
 point of view, and I will discuss my point of view in the following paragraphs. To start with, why young adults should have to give their
time
 to
work
 for unpaid jobs? I believe that they have to worry about their school stuff
such
 as tests, projects, college, and so on. Those make them unavailable for doing extra things.
As a result
, it would be better to let senior citizens do those volunteering jobs. Most elderly
people
 are retired, and they have plenty of
time
 to do anything they want, so they are the type of
people
 for
this
work
. Adolescents would like to have a part-
time
 job rather than
work
 for no pay. It is hard for them to accept
this
 job. Money is always the motivation for working hard. Without the
paying
Replace the word
pay
show examples
,
people
 would not take it seriously.
Therefore
, we will not do things wholeheartedly, and we may be lazy to do them. Lots of youngsters need money for living, entertainment, school fees, and so forth. They need to earn some money for their lives. In a nutshell, students may not be the right group of
people
 for
this
 kind of job, because they are busy with their school
work
, career, lives, etc. In my view, the old
people
 are the best age for
this
work
. They have an enormous of
time
 to do things they like.
The teenagers
Correct article usage
Teenagers
show examples
 are usually not interested in working for no pay.
Submitted by edward300225 on

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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly. For instance, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of the paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear opinion in the introduction.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a relevant conclusion that reiterates the main points made in the body paragraphs.
supported main points
The argument against teenagers doing unpaid community work is well-articulated.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented in the essay are clear and comprehensive.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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