IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is said that
household
Use synonyms
chores
Use synonyms
 should be divided between females and males. It is Because, in
this
Linking Words
 era, there are more and more wives who work full
time
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for several reasons which I will explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Perhaps, one major reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that sharing house
chores
Use synonyms
 in a family lessens the extra burden of a single person. Because both the wife and husband are
also
Linking Words
 employees in a company, they have many daily tasks which must be finished quickly
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, when the woman is cooking, the man can sweep the room.
As a consequence
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, the couple can complete their tasks
assistance
Change preposition
with assistance
show examples
 on
time
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, equivalent contribution to housework by both spouses is crucial for the purpose of maintaining the happiness of the family. If one partner is solely responsible for
household
Use synonyms
chores
Use synonyms
 it can lead to increased stress and the risk of exhaustion after a busy working day. Another reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that sharing and doing housework together decreases the outlay. If a family hires a housemaid, they must spend extra money every month for
this
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in European countries, There are many families that do not have a housemaid because of the high cost of paying a maid so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they get used to doing their own
household
Use synonyms
chores
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I totally agree with sharing
household
Use synonyms
 tasks which is beneficial if it is done by wives and husbands in a family because the positive impact from
this
Linking Words
 is that it can bring efficient
time
Use synonyms
 to manage the best quality
time
Use synonyms
 with family including decreasing monthly expenses.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider providing smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clearly defined point and fully develops it before moving to the next idea.
task achievement
Make sure each example you provide directly supports the point being discussed and fully explain how it ties into your argument.
task achievement
Aim to provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes all your main points and reaffirms your stance clearly.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear and relevant introduction that sets the stage for your argument.
supported main points
You have included specific examples that support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
complete response
The essay addresses the task prompt completely and provides a clear stance, which is essential for a high score.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: