Nowadays increasing overweight is a problem, some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module in all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?

#people #universities #sport #module #courses

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Nowadays, with the advent of processed foods, the number of obese

people

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is rising significantly. Other than that, even the youngest are becoming lazier and they prefer video games over sports. In fact, many

people

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believe that universities should make sport a compulsory module in all degree courses. Personally, I completely agree with

this

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view but I

also

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believe universities should educate students on how important high-quality food is. Currently,

people

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are extremely busy and lazy

thus

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, they tend to opt for quicker meals, which most of the time are not the healthiest version.

For example

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, they tend to consume fatty and fried foods rather than nutrient-dense options.

This

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problem is correlated with the lack of exercise. In fact, it is important to educate students and make them aware of how movement is important for their

health

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. By improving their eating habits and starting to move more, they would have many benefits.

Furthermore

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, obesity and a sedentary lifestyle are related to numerous

health

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problems

such

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as diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and heart attacks. Since we are different from each other, schools should offer different kinds of activities

such

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as pilates, swimming, running, volleyball and others.

Moreover

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, sport has many advantages for mental

health

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. It helps release endorphins which make us feel better.

In addition

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to that, sport helps the brain maintain fast processing of thoughts. In fact,

people

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who play sports, are often brilliant and successful in school.

To conclude

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, I firmly believe sports should be made mandatory because it would be beneficial to everybody's

health

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and

thus

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, an investment in our future

health

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Submitted by chi63hi on Sat Jul 06 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a clear response to the task and presents comprehensive ideas, including the importance of educating students about quality food could be developed further for a more complete response.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure can be improved by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus and that transitions between ideas are seamless.

task achievement

Using more specific examples and evidence will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing. For instance, citing studies or statistics about the benefits of exercise on health and academic performance.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction presents the problem and the essay’s stance clearly and concisely, which sets a solid foundation for the rest of the essay.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments and reinforces the essay's main stance, making it a strong ending to the discussion.

supported main points

Supporting points such as the health benefits of exercise and various types of activities that schools could offer add depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

263 words

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Nowadays increasing overweight is a problem, some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module in all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people’s private life, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause, for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?

The English language is used as a global language in most countries in the world. Do you think the advantages of using English as a global language outweigh the disadvantages?