Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing vedio games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Games are always a matter of interest for

children

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whether it is indoors or outdoors. Considering many factors many

people

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consider outdoor sports to be more important than in-house video gaming. I strongly support

this

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opinion and believe

this

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is really a blessing for them. In

this

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essay, I will discuss in detail why I hold

this

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viewpoint. Outdoor

activities

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offer a great opportunity to develop physical fitness.

Firstly

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, what

children

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eat needs to be burnt for proper absorption in the body.

Secondly

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, there is no best alternative to outdoor

activities

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to do it perfectly. As an example, games like running, jumping and many more are very efficient in making

children

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sweet

as well as

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building muscle.

Moreover

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, these

activities

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help in developing proper mental growth as fresh air and atmosphere are vital for

this

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In addition

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

doing outdoor

activities

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children

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mix with many friends, well-wishers, and

people

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with whom they discuss and exchange views and experiences.

This

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is not only a matter of relaxation but

also

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an important tool for socialization.

Furthermore

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, mixing and exchanging experiences with

people

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increase their knowledge and they become capable of facing any unwanted situation in real life.

That is

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why, outdoor

activities

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are best to be practiced. Admittedly, the option of enjoying video games at home has some supportable points. It can be said that

this

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habit is good from the view that, it can help

children

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to avoid unwanted situations

such

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as avoiding injury or accident.

Additionally

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this

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practice keeps

children

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away from bad

people

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who can demotivate them or cause any harm.

However

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, all these points are less mentionable compared to the importance of outdoor athletics. In conclusion, it may be said that outdoor sports are better considering the physical and mental health of

children

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as well as

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the scope of gaining real-life knowledge being more socialized. Video gaming inside the home has

also

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a few positive points but can not surpass the other options.

That is

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why, I support the point of outdoor activity.

shafaeat.shoaibMon Feb 10 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your stance more explicitly.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Some sentences feel slightly disjointed.

task achievement

Include more diverse examples or deeper explanations that specifically support your arguments, especially on the importance of outdoor activities.

task achievement

You provided a clear opinion and supported it with reasons, particularly underlining the benefits of outdoor activities.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical progression of ideas, making it easy to follow the argumentation.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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