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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Schools should stop using books for teaching children as they find them boring and use films tv and computer instead. to what extent do you agree and disagree?

#schools #books #children #films #tv #computer
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There is a controversy over the matter of whether
books
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, as the main resource of education, should be replaced by
films
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 and computerized materials;
however
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, I agree that utilizing
films
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 and computers for education is beneficial and I will explain the reasons here.
Firstly
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, employing film and computers allows tutors to access a wider range of materials, which are beneficial for educational scopes.
This
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 is to say, children are exposed to learning methods, in which different sources and theories are attainable. A teacher, who aims to teach a subject in history,
for instance
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, will be able to demonstrate several stories and various pictures from different historical sources and even theorists and authors if he has access to a considerable number of websites and movies.
Secondly
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, learning via pictures, movies, and music makes the subject easier to understand and recall.
Therefore
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, pupils can refer to pictures and
films
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 to remember a specific topic, which can assist them in learning a topic quickly. Students who learn a foreign language by means of watching or listening to musical lessons,
for example
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, have shown 40 per cent higher absorption and
therefore
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 better performance
according to
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 a survey conducted among Indonesian schoolchildren. Of course,
books
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 are more concentrated in terms of offering materials;
however
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, they might cause boredom for learners as they lack variety;
as a result
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,
books
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 should merely play the role of educational assistants and must not prioritized. In conclusion, after taking both viewpoints into consideration, I must hold the conviction that
although
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books
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 are precious resources for learning and educational targets,
films
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 and computers are more convenient tools for learning
as well as
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 they make the learning process more attractive and less dull;
consequently
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, they must be given privilege.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically within and between paragraphs. For example, focus on creating topic sentences that clearly outline the paragraph's main point.
task achievement
Although the essay provides good reasons for favoring films and computers over books, ensure that you fully explore both sides of the argument for a more balanced response. This can strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction that states the writer’s position and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the survey conducted among Indonesian schoolchildren, are provided to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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