Do you think that an aging society will disappear? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more old people in society?

#society #people

Nowadays, the matter of whether or not the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

society

will disappear in the future remains quite relevant.

Although

the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

society

is a persistent phenomenon

nonetheless

, old

people

could contribute to developing the community and

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

their experiences.

However

, having more senior citizens in modern

society

could lead to impede the

country

advancement

. In

this

essay, I will answer the questions

as well as

write about the pros and cons of

this

topic. One of the main advantages is the opportunity for old

people

to contribute to developing the community

for example

working in public education and they can share some of their experience and wisdom some studies say that most

people

prefer to take advice and experience from older

people

consequently

, having old

people

in modern

society

has a lot of benefits.

On the other hand

, one of the main disadvantages of having more old

people

society

is impedes the

country

advancement

such

as a decrease in the number of employment in the

country

In addition

it often happens that young

people

have to spend less time at work to care for their older and that

also

will impedes the

country

advancement

consequently

, having more old

people

in the

country

will cause a lot of problems. Ultimately, the presence of the elderly is beneficial a lot but if the number of old

people

increases will impede the

country

advancement

from my perspective there must be a balance in the population, and most of them must not be old

people

Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on Wed May 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both questions but could benefit from providing more specific examples. Instead of general statements, use real-life instances or statistics to make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and punctuation to improve clarity and fluency.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a seamless flow of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences more effectively. Also, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that's well-developed.

introduction

Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and previews the main points of your essay, which makes it easy to follow.

logical structure

You have a logical structure in your essay with distinct paragraphs dedicated to the advantages and disadvantages of an aging society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing society
healthcare and pension systems
elderly individuals
financial support
wisdom and experience
guidance
economic opportunities and innovation
strain on healthcare systems
medical services
associated costs
shrinking workforce
economic challenges
social services and infrastructure
financial investment

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Do you think that an aging society will disappear? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more old people in society?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?