Do you think that an aging society will disappear? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more old people in society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the matter of whether or not the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
society
Use synonyms
will disappear in the future remains quite relevant.
Although
Linking Words
the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
society
Use synonyms
is a persistent phenomenon
nonetheless
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
could contribute to developing the community and
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
their experiences.
However
Linking Words
, having more senior citizens in modern
society
Use synonyms
could lead to impede the
country
Use synonyms
's
advancement
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will answer the questions
as well as
Linking Words
write about the pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
topic. One of the main advantages is the opportunity for old
people
Use synonyms
to contribute to developing the community
for example
Linking Words
working in public education and they can share some of their experience and wisdom some studies say that most
people
Use synonyms
prefer to take advice and experience from older
people
Use synonyms
.
consequently
Linking Words
, having old
people
Use synonyms
in modern
society
Use synonyms
has a lot of benefits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the main disadvantages of having more old
people
Use synonyms
in
society
Use synonyms
is impedes the
country
Use synonyms
's
advancement
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as a decrease in the number of employment in the
country
Use synonyms
In addition
Linking Words
it often happens that young
people
Use synonyms
have to spend less time at work to care for their older and that
also
Linking Words
will impedes the
country
Use synonyms
advancement
Use synonyms
.
consequently
Linking Words
, having more old
people
Use synonyms
in the
country
Use synonyms
will cause a lot of problems. Ultimately, the presence of the elderly is beneficial a lot but if the number of old
people
Use synonyms
increases will impede the
country
Use synonyms
's
advancement
Use synonyms
from my perspective there must be a balance in the population, and most of them must not be old
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses both questions but could benefit from providing more specific examples. Instead of general statements, use real-life instances or statistics to make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and punctuation to improve clarity and fluency.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a seamless flow of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences more effectively. Also, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that's well-developed.
introduction
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and previews the main points of your essay, which makes it easy to follow.
logical structure
You have a logical structure in your essay with distinct paragraphs dedicated to the advantages and disadvantages of an aging society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing society
  • healthcare and pension systems
  • elderly individuals
  • financial support
  • wisdom and experience
  • guidance
  • economic opportunities and innovation
  • strain on healthcare systems
  • medical services
  • associated costs
  • shrinking workforce
  • economic challenges
  • social services and infrastructure
  • financial investment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: