Do you think that an aging society will disappear? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more old people in society?

Nowadays, the matter of whether or not the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
society
will disappear in the future remains quite relevant.
Although
the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
society
is a persistent phenomenon
nonetheless
, old
people
could contribute to developing the community and
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
their experiences.
However
, having more senior citizens in modern
society
could lead to impede the
country
's
advancement
. In
this
essay, I will answer the questions
as well as
write about the pros and cons of
this
topic. One of the main advantages is the opportunity for old
people
to contribute to developing the community
for example
working in public education and they can share some of their experience and wisdom some studies say that most
people
prefer to take advice and experience from older
people
.
consequently
, having old
people
in modern
society
has a lot of benefits.
On the other hand
, one of the main disadvantages of having more old
people
in
society
is impedes the
country
's
advancement
such
as a decrease in the number of employment in the
country
In addition
it often happens that young
people
have to spend less time at work to care for their older and that
also
will impedes the
country
advancement
.
consequently
, having more old
people
in the
country
will cause a lot of problems. Ultimately, the presence of the elderly is beneficial a lot but if the number of old
people
increases will impede the
country
's
advancement
from my perspective there must be a balance in the population, and most of them must not be old
people
.
Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both questions but could benefit from providing more specific examples. Instead of general statements, use real-life instances or statistics to make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your vocabulary and sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and punctuation to improve clarity and fluency.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a seamless flow of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences more effectively. Also, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that's well-developed.
introduction
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and previews the main points of your essay, which makes it easy to follow.
logical structure
You have a logical structure in your essay with distinct paragraphs dedicated to the advantages and disadvantages of an aging society.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing society
  • healthcare and pension systems
  • elderly individuals
  • financial support
  • wisdom and experience
  • guidance
  • economic opportunities and innovation
  • strain on healthcare systems
  • medical services
  • associated costs
  • shrinking workforce
  • economic challenges
  • social services and infrastructure
  • financial investment
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