Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over the past few decades, there has been a common belief that it is so detrimental for
sports
industries that worldwide corporations are using sporting events as a measure of boosting their sales. The writer, however
, remains unconvinced by this
school of thought since the financially mutual relationships and the high level of profit are readily beneficial.
Initially
, it must be acknowledged that being advertised by large companies is also
an advantageous factor for the development of sporting industries. To clarify, there is no doubt that corporations will choose many sports
stars who have a remarkable influence on social media platforms and an enormous number of followers or fans to advertise their products to gain as much revenue as possible. For
this
reason, the popularity of specific sports
that are played by these athletes will increase dramatically, thus
bringing beautiful images to these kinds of sporting activities and attracting a larger number of participants afterwards. For instance
, Quang Hai was one of the most famous football players in Vietnam who was the ambassador for Shopee, which is a popular artificial market, especially among the young generation, that has attracted many teenagers to participate in football annually.
Additionally
, a more substantial amount of earnings must be taken into consideration. To explain further
, conducting sporting advertisements, will benefit both business and sports
industries as they can share the profit gained by these promotions for each other. As a result
, many organizations that focus on sporting events will have enough money to invest in the improvement of sports
facilities, therefore
maintaining and developing this
kind of sport for a long course of time. Specifically, Thailand is a prime example of this
, where national football teams have contributed significantly to public sports
amenities in local areas by collaborating with large companies for advertising projects.
In conclusion, even though some emphasize the negative that advertisement brings to sports
by large corporations, the beneficial relationships for both along with
a more substantial level of money are far more crucial. It is, furthermore
, apparent that the more popular some particular sports
are by being promoted, the larger number of participants they will have.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively, but adding more precise and detailed explanations for each point would make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. While the structure is good, occasionally the transitions could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion ties all points together succinctly. Although it summarizes well, reinforcing the key arguments could enhance its impact.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, which strengthened your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your position.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and logically laid out, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?