Question: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

In recent years, a significant number of rural inhabitants have moved into cities.

Although

there are some advantages associated with

this

migration, I firmly believe that the development of urbanization brings several detrimental consequences. On the one hand, advocates argue that increasing the population in cities can lead to various economic challenges for rural people and impose financial difficulties on them.

Additionally

, with the change in the number of individuals in rural areas, governments must bear excessively high costs to provide facilities and services in these sparsely populated regions to ensure equality across the country. By abandoning the countryside, these populations inevitably lose their comfortable situations, serene and tranquil environments, and the best quality air.

Furthermore

due to

the high cost of living in metropolises, they are often forced to live in small apartments, which is a challenging adjustment for nearly all of them.

On the other hand

, living in cities accelerates people’s access to amenities, the latest technologies, and high-speed internet. The city lifestyle

also

has an attractive allure, potentially improving life satisfaction in various aspects.

However

, it is noteworthy that residents in large urban areas often spend most of their valuable time at the workplace or commuting in cars or other transportation vehicles.

Consequently

, they might experience a sedentary lifestyle, leading to obesity and increased risk of heart disease.

For instance

, a study conducted in Italy indicated that 60% of employees who work long hours are prone to obesity, and 40% of these obese individuals suffer from heart disease. In conclusion, despite the allure of urbanization for most people, I wholeheartedly believe that living in the rural countryside is more beneficial for individuals. The reasons I have elaborated on in

this

essay underscore the advantages of a rural lifestyle over the challenges of city living.

Submitted by saharaqajani on Fri Aug 02 2024

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task achievement

You provided a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively discussing both sides of the argument through relevant examples and supporting details. To further enhance your essay, ensure that counter-arguments are fully addressed and consider expanding on specific examples for even greater impact.

coherence cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The paragraphs are well-organized, with each main point supported by detailed explanations. Consider using some topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to clearly signal the main idea to the reader.

task achievement

Your essay is comprehensive and thoroughly addresses the prompt. You effectively discuss both the positive and negative aspects of rural migration to urban areas, which showcases a balanced viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphs and ideas are well-organized and connected seamlessly, making the essay easy to follow.

task achievement

The examples provided, like the study from Italy, strengthen your argument and offer concrete evidence to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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Question: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people from different places are spending more time away from their families.What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves ?

In many countries people can go to a supermarket and buy products

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?