IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the near future nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying to what extent do yo agree or disagree with this statement.

#future #nobody #newspapers #books #yo
There are common
belife
Correct your spelling
beliefs
belief
such
 as printed
materilas
Correct your spelling
materials
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
, journals and books will completely lose
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regard
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a necessity in the future, as they will be replaced with online ones for free. I
absalutly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
 agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
,
advansmend
Correct your spelling
advancement
advanced
 in the technology that makes reading more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
. Nowadays electronic
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 like
compyuters
Correct your spelling
computers
,
planshets
Correct your spelling
computers
 and phones become our
unseperable
Correct your spelling
inseparable
 items as they made our life much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier than in the past. On top of that, they
also
continuing
Change the form of the verb
continue
show examples
 improving and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 new features that will encourage our reading likelihood.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my phone has
app
Add an article
an app
show examples
 which can read aloud any book and it is very
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 as I am always busy with my work. With
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of my
phone
Add a comma
phone,
show examples
 I can
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 any book
while
 working.
Secondly
,
acsess
Correct your spelling
access
 to the
internet
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allows
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 reading to be more suitable both financially and academic
porpeses
Correct your spelling
purposes
.
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
Add an article
a
show examples
huge impact on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how we read and consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information.
Induviduals
Correct your spelling
Individuals
 do not need to
searching
Change the form of the verb
search
show examples
 libraries and arxiv materials any more . Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 everyone can now simply seek any book or reading materials from the
internet
 which is often free.
For example
, in my
freshmen
Fix the agreement mistake
freshman
show examples
 year in the university
Add a comma
,
show examples
I
was even
Verb problem
apply
show examples
struggled with finding
a articles
Correct the article-noun agreement
articles
an article
show examples
 for my daily studies from
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
. Thanks to the
internet
 I eventually was able to find information that I looked for.
To conclude
, despite
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
 that printed materials still
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
 I think that in the future we do not need them as they will replaced by new advanced
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay contains some strong points and examples, but there are several issues that need addressing. Try to avoid generalizations like 'everyone' or 'nowadays,' and ensure you're backing up all points with clear examples. For instance, when discussing advancements in technology, mention specific features or apps and how they make reading more convenient. This will make your argument more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
You need to improve your coherence and cohesion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by relevant details. Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to another. For example, in your first body paragraph, you moved from general statements on technology to your personal example; make sure you explain this transition clearly.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling. Words like 'belife,' 'potencial,' 'devises,' 'compyuters,' 'planshets,' 'advansmend,' 'unseperable,' 'usefull,' 'acsess,' 'arxiv,' 'Induviduals,' 'porpeses,' and 'eventually' are misspelled. Correct grammar and spelling will significantly improve your score.
coherence cohesion
You've correctly structured the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This shows a good understanding of the format.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital media
  • print media
  • tactile experience
  • environmentally friendly
  • growing popularity
  • historical and sentimental value
  • digital divide
  • access to online content
  • tangible
  • transition
  • subscription-based models
  • sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: