IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food raher than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

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Around the world, an increasing number of people are opting to purchase imported groceries
instead
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 of locally produced
food
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.
This
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 is happening
due to
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 the high standard of foreign
food
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,
however
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, action could be taken to promote the consumption of local produce by launching more campaigns about local products. It is crucial to acknowledge that people often have a bias in the quality of foreign
food
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. They contend that
this
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 kind of
food
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 must undergo a variety of strict regulations after being served to consumers.
Therefore
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, they would prioritise that type of
food
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 if they saw it being sold. Take some recent research as a pertinent example, where about 50 per cent of individuals intend to buy international
food
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 despite the high costs.
Nevertheless
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, various campaigns should be launched to boost the purchasing of national
food
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. It is essential to recognize that these promotional events are the most likely to highlight the benefits of national products,
this
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 is mainly because customers often being attracted by the vibration and amusement of its.
Consequently
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, many positive aspects of
this
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 sort of
food
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such
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 as freshness and cleanness are marked noticeably. Several articles in Vietnam provide a compelling instance, where some campaigns have numerous effects on local residents and more than half of them are willing to buy more
food
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 produced locally. In conclusion, the standard of
food
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 has driven residents to spend significant money . Yet, a host of marketing strategies could be initiated to encourage citizens to pay more attention to their local
food
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.

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task response
While your essay addresses both questions posed in the prompt, a bit more depth and elaboration on each point could strengthen your argument. Consider providing more examples or explaining the concept of 'high standard' in greater detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are a few areas where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, transitioning phrases such as 'Moreover,', 'Furthermore,' or 'Additionally,' could better link your points.
coherence and cohesion
Some of your sentences are framed in a slightly awkward manner. Try revising sentences to enhance clarity. For example, the phrase 'customers often being attracted by the vibration and amusement of its' could be more clearly stated.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and summarize the main points effectively.
relevant specific examples
You provided a specific example from Vietnam and research data to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
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