IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

"Some people believe that traditional skills, like cooking and sewing, are no longer necessary in modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

In today's rapidly evolving world, the relevance of traditional
skills
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,
such
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 as cooking and sewing, is often questioned. Some argue that these abilities are becoming obsolete
due to
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 modern conveniences. I strongly disagree with
this
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 perspective because these
skills
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 remain crucial for promoting self-sufficiency and preserving cultural heritage. One primary reason why I hold
this
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 view is that traditional
skills
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 are fundamental for personal self-sufficiency.
This
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 is primarily
due to
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 the fact that knowing how to cook allows individuals to prepare healthy and affordable meals, reducing reliance on expensive takeaways or processed foods.
For instance
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, a person who can cook well is less likely to suffer from diet-related health issues and can manage their food budget more effectively, leading to a healthier and more economical lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, another significant point to consider is that these traditional abilities play a vital role in preserving cultural heritage.
This
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 is because
skills
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 like sewing, knitting, or even traditional cooking methods are often passed down through generations, carrying stories, techniques, and customs that define a community's identity. A case in point is the continuation of traditional garment making in many Asian countries, where unique sewing techniques and fabric designs are a source of national pride and an integral part of festive celebrations, connecting younger generations to their roots. In conclusion, I firmly believe that traditional
skills
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 are far from obsolete and remain justifiable in modern society.
This
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 is
due to
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 their importance in fostering individual independence and their invaluable contribution to maintaining cultural identity.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
task achievement
Add a slight summary of your main points in the conclusion to strengthen the closing.
task achievement
You have clear main ideas that support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your example of cooking shows good understanding of personal benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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