some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Other think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both of views and give your opinion.
These days, the imported movies are drawing a lot of attention from the public. In some cases,
instead
of people will be
given much knowledge from other nations, the majority of society Wrong verb form
being
think
that should support Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
for
local Change preposition
apply
item
. I believe that the advantages overshadow the disadvantages and the reasons will be explained now .
Fix the agreement mistake
items
To begin
with , children cannot live without media in their daily life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Thus
, international TV programmes are one of the best ways for them to learn new
language when they are just a baby. Add an article
a new
For instance
, there are some educational shows which offsprings
can watch when they are eating,taking a bath,... for their Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
entertain
from America, Japan,... Replace the word
entertainment
Besides
, children can study how to talk or sing by
many songs and films.
Another point to consider is that people can find some information about other countries to travel or work. Change preposition
in
As a result
, it will be easier for the communities to go abroad . For example
, they can adapt with
new Change preposition
to
tradition
before they come Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
due to
their preparation.
The main drawbacks associated with the development of nations . If people just spend their relaxing time for movies from overseas, the profits from hometown's
films will Change noun form
hometown
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
significant
Change the word
significantly
declined
. Change the form of the verb
decline
As a result
, the budget which is invested by the government for some projects will be wasted .
In conclusion , after carefully considering many aspects of the given issues in the topic that foreign movies and TV programmes are one of the ways to improve a country's tradition . I still believe that the benefits are more significant than the drawbacksSubmitted by [email protected]
on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by clearly dividing your essay into paragraphs for each idea. This will make it easier to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and that supporting details are relevant to that point. Currently, some ideas could be more clearly linked to the main argument.
task achievement
Enhance your examples to make them more specific and relevant. For example, instead of saying 'For instance, there are some educational shows,' name a particular show and describe its impact.
task achievement
Clarify some sentences to improve comprehensibility. For example, 'the majority of society think that should support for local item' could be more clearly expressed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided specific points on how foreign movies and TV programmes can be beneficial, such as language learning and cultural adaptation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.