IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programs. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country’s #culture #import #movies #tv #programs
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Many individuals think that importing foreign
films
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 and
TV
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programs
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 is good for the nation’s
culture
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while
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 the other say that investing in local
movies
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 is a better choice.
This
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 writer agrees with the former statement because it not only provides knowledge of different
countries
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 but
also
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 saves
time
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 and will discuss both views in
this
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 writing essay. It is evident that using
money
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 to buy
programs
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 on
TV
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 and
movies
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 from another country helps
people
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 to learn more about international
culture
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. Making a film requires unique landscapes and scripts in order to attract
people
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 so most film producers have created myriad masterpieces based on the
culture
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 in their
countries
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.
Due to
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this
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, watchers can learn more about global cultures and expand their knowledge. Take Japanese
movies
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 as an example, many
countries
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 bought
movies
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 from Japan and it affected
people
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 in these nations. Many
people
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 decided to cosplay to characters in these
films
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 in order to show their excitement on these products.
Besides
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this
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, governments do not have to spend
money
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 on creating
films
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 so it will not take too much
time
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.
Instead
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, they can allocate
money
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 to other facilities by the way constructing more houses and improving health services and
people
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’s lives will be developed and become more convenient. If authorities can do
this
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, their
countries
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 will be prosperous.
By contrast
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, investing in local
TV
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programs
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 and
films
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 is
also
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 a good option. It will encourage film producers to spend more
time
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 and motivation on creating good
movies
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.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 shows their
culture
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 to friends in other
countries
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 by the way releasing them overseas. Take Hollywood’s
films
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 as an example, many of these have been watched by
people
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 in different nations.
To conclude
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, spending
time
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 and
money
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 on local
movies
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 and
TV
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programs
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 is good but
this
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 writer believes that bridging the gap between
countries
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 and watchers can earn more knowledge.

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task and discusses both views. However, it would benefit from further development of ideas and providing more examples from various regions or contexts to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions and connections between paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next and that connections between points are clear.
task achievement
Work on varying sentence structure and avoiding repetitiveness. This will make the essay more engaging and enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion. The thesis is clear, and each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the mention of Japanese movies and Hollywood films, to support points made in the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates the writer’s viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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