Governments should be responsible for promoting renewable energy sources, while others believe that individuals and private companies should play a larger role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many believe
governments
around the
world
should increase their efforts to promote renewable
energy
usage to ensure wider adoption rates.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others believe
this
decision should entirely be left to individual households. Some are of the opinion that, there is already an oversaturation of private companies that provide these services already and that government funding should be used
elsewhere
.
This
essay will consider both sides of the argument to reach an effective conclusion.
Firstly
,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there is an oversaturation of private companies providing renewable
energy
services like solar panels, wind turbines and hydroelectricity. The simple fact is, that most of these solutions are too expensive for the average household.
This
is why many
governments
around the
world
provide subsidies to each household when purchasing solar panels.
This
simple promotion tactic makes switching to renewable
energy
more economical for families.
Conversely
, households and small businesses account for only a small percentage of total
carbon
dioxide produced (Co2), the vast majority of CO2 is produced by large-scale manufacturing plants. Countries around the
world
should introduce a
carbon
tax
.
For example
, a fine has to be imposed on each ton of CO2 emitted by these plants. The
carbon
tax
or green
tax
will
further
incentivize large businesses to switch to renewable
energy
to offset larger
tax
rates. In summary, I believe individual households, small and large businesses
as well as
governments
around the
world
have a key role to play in combating global warming.
Governments
should continue subsidizing renewable
energy
sources like solar and huge CO2 emitting companies should be heavily fined in the form of a
carbon
tax
.
Additionally
, citizens around the
world
can vote for electoral candidates whose campaign promises include a more renewable and greener future.
Submitted by naveengeorge95 on

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task achievement
Expand on the reasoning behind your points with more elaboration. For instance, explain why large-scale manufacturing plants should be taxed more heavily beyond the mention of CO2 production.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is cohesive and logically structured, further refinement of transitional phrases between paragraphs could make the essay flow even smoother.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which showcases a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as subsidies for solar panels and the suggestion of a carbon tax, to support main points.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression and structure are maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that wrap up the discussion effectively.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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