Task 2: With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that do not have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?
For the most part of
the
modern life, the majority of humans have been living in cramped homes which lack outdoor spaces, Correct article usage
apply
as a result
, the population of humankind has expanded and flourished in recent years, especially in cities and towns. The writer perceived this
as a negative development and will explain it in the following paragraphs.
It is acknowledged that living in an enclosed area could have detrimental effects on one’s physical well-being due to
the lack of wind flows and fresh ambience. As the
outdoor spaces play a pivotal role in moderating the air stream and getting rid of harmful substances stored in the atmosphere, individuals who live in a suffocated environment are more vulnerable to respiratory diseases, Correct article usage
apply
for example
, lung cancers. Indeed, there is a
research pinpointed that the number of Remove the article
apply
people
in poor areas suffering from respiratory illnesses has been increasing drastically in the surveyed period.
Furthermore
, living in a cramped place will also
severely affect humans’
mental health. In fact, it fosters a sense of isolation and suffocation among residents which creates imprisoned feelings, Fix the agreement mistake
human’
therefore
many people
are increasingly sensitive towards common living problems such
as paying bills or parking cars. Hence
, they will end up hurting their beloved or people
surrounding them if they lose control of their temper, or in a worse scenario, depression and anxiety.
Taking all points into conclusion, Physical and mental illnesses are commonly experienced by people
living in small and cramped places. Hence
, governments should come up with new policies related to building laws in order to address this
phenomenon.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a central argument and attempts to support it with specific examples. However, there is room for greater depth and clarity in your ideas. More detailed examples or data can strengthen your position.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that your arguments are well-developed. This will make your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, but it could benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs. This will help in maintaining the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While you do have an introduction and a conclusion, try to make the thesis statement and concluding remarks more profound. This will give your essay a stronger start and finish.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that all your main points are adequately supported. Some of your arguments would benefit from additional explanations or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic directly, providing a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.