With growing number of populations in cities, many people are living in small homes that don't have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent years, the population of many metropolitan cities is increasingly significant, so people have to live in small houses which will result in the lack of outdoor areas for individuals. The writer contends that
this
tendency is seen as a negative progress due to
several drawbacks arising from this
trend, which will be explained in this
essay.
It must be acknowledged that the lack of outdoor space will have some detrimental effects on human’s
Change noun form
human
development
. The first primary drawback is that these places will reduce chances
for people to participate in many sports Correct article usage
the chances
activities
, which will significantly affect their health. Indeed, by limiting space for many physical activities
and outdoor reactions, people in these areas could adopt a sedentary lifestyle, which leads to many chronic diseases such
as heart problems and obesity. Additionally
, the environment is detrimentally affected by the large number of population in these cities. For instance
, many slums in Africa are the main contributor to the worse proportion of clean and fresh atmosphere, compared to other countries, which could decrease the quality of life in this
place.
Another fact should
be Correct word choice
that should
concerned
is the impact on children's Verb problem
considered
development
. There is no doubt that outdoor space provides young generations opportunities to improve their knowledge and behaviour through many outdoor sports activities
. Therefore
, if there were not any activities
for children to attend, they would feel bored and stressed, which will
sharply influence their mind’s Wrong verb form
would
development
.
In conclusion, I would say that there are many negative aspects, including many impacts on people’s health, the quality of life and also
the children’s development
, which will make society become worse and worse in the future. Thus
, it is understandable that the dramatic increase of
population would cause many negative prospects for Change preposition
in
human’s
lives.Change noun form
human
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task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, but including more specific examples could strengthen the arguments. For instance, mention specific urban areas where lack of outdoor spaces has affected residents.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures to enhance readability. This will make your argument flow more naturally and keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly present and well-articulated, providing a strong framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is quite solid. The points are well-organized and flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Your essay is relevant to the task and provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both general and specific negative consequences of the lack of outdoor spaces.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.