Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is believed that a significant number of individuals have rejected conventional methods of medical care and in lieu of ,that use various alternatives, which are not reliable enough. Personally, I consider it as a drawback because there are more aggravations in people’s health and irreversible consequences with the grave end than the cases of effective healing.
First and foremost, it is a negative development because people tend to rely on
this
so-called natural medicine and they do not pay attention to common ways of healing, Linking Words
thus
, their health struggles and their well-being may get worse as time passes. Linking Words
In other words
, Linking Words
while
concentrating on different alternatives to ordinary treatment, individuals neglect the fact that beneficial pills have already been invented and there is no sense in constructing a bicycle when it has already been built. Linking Words
Moreover
, in the majority of ,cases humans try to enhance their lives by taking additional medicine, which is neither verified nor recommended by professional doctors, Linking Words
consequently
, people use it without a proper medical check-up.
Linking Words
Secondly
, some individuals claim that they understand how their organism functions better than a well-educated doctor with a master’s degree in Linking Words
this
field, which is why they follow their own prejudice of what is right and what is pernicious for their bodies. Linking Words
For instance
, Steve Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Linking Words
although
he decided that he did not require traditional treatment and he chose a mortal way for himself by focusing only on alternative medicine. Thereby, he realised that it was a vicious path, Linking Words
however
, it was too late to make a change and unfortunately, Linking Words
such
an intelligent person died.
In conclusion, despite the fact that nowadays people are more conscious of their quality of health, sometimes it may be perilous for them Linking Words
due to
the fact that they are willing to demonstrate their capability of self-treatment. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, Linking Words
that is
a biased persuasion and I ponder that every human has to ask for a piece of advice from an experienced doctor in order not to die of consistent utilisation of some harmful pills.Linking Words
Submitted by karolinavash2552 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To further improve your task response, aim for a more balanced discussion. Consider providing a counter-argument to your stance, then refute it. This will enrich the complexity of your argument and demonstrate a full understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on varying your transition phrases and ensuring a more seamless flow between ideas. While your essay is well-organized, diverse transitions can enhance readability and the logical flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen supported main points, including a wider range of examples and evidence can be beneficial. While your examples are relevant, more varied and specific instances can make your arguments more convincing and robust.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing the essay and providing a concise summary of your arguments.
task achievement
You've provided a complete response to the task, effectively addressing the prompt and taking a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic and an ability to communicate your viewpoint effectively.