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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

#people #life #work #talent #happen #consequences #situation
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 find themselves in jobs they dislike or lack talent for
due to
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 societal and financial pressure. There are several reasons for
this
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 situation
as well as
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 a wide range of impacts on individuals.
To begin
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 with, a considerable rise in population in every nation demands better living standards which causes
people
Use synonyms
 to work to fit in society. Modern cities solve the struggle of residents’ accommodation by developing skyscrapers, in turn,
people
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 wish to have income either to rent or to buy a house to fit in the society.
Moreover
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, business owners obtain the benefits of the development of living standards,
this
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 is because it allows them to create appealing products to enhance human desires and needs. Particularly, IKEA manufactures and sells various types of furniture, it attracts residents to purchase their products
as well as
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 fills human needs, which might lead
people
Use synonyms
 to have more fortunes.
On the other hand
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, many consequences may be caused
due to
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 the fact that they are working for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 status of being employed. It can be claimed that the majority of
people
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 inspire rich
people
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 because they believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 can have anything they desire, which probably causes them to suffer from mental health issues
such
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 as depression, insecurity, and anxiety.
Additionally
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, working solely for financial gain will possibly create a miserable workplace and a negative environment.
Consequently
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, it drains employees’ positive energy, productivity, and skillsets, at the same time, perhaps, it opens a door of suicidal cases for them. In conclusion, in spite of not having talents in a particular job,
people
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 are trying to be employed properly in order to fit into the living standards that society created. The variety of
people
Use synonyms
’s needs and wants demands individuals’ purchasing power, which
also
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 causes damage to their mental health eventually.
Submitted by mamamonkey45 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, more specific examples could strengthen your argument and make it more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized, but try to ensure a smoother flow between them to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, setting the context and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
You provide a good range of ideas that address why people end up in jobs they dislike and the consequences they face.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
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