At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In many countries, demographic patterns reveal a significant proportion of young adults relative to the elderly
population
. Use synonyms
This
essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of young adults compared to older ones.
A primary advantage of a youthful Linking Words
population
is the potential for economic growth. The main part of their labour force consists of young people, creating a substantial reserve of workers for various industries. Use synonyms
This
demographic is often more adaptable to technological improvements, which can encourage productivity and innovation. Linking Words
For instance
, countries like India and Brazil, with their large Linking Words
population
of youth, have become hubs for technology and service industries. Use synonyms
Additionally
, a larger working-age Linking Words
population
contributes to a broader tax base, which can fund public services and infrastructural development, Use synonyms
further
stimulating economic progress. Linking Words
Moreover
, the young generation is typically more open to new ideas and cultural exchanges, promoting diversity and progressive social changes. Linking Words
This
can lead to a more inclusive and dynamic society, fostering creativity. Linking Words
For example
, the vibrant cultural scenes in cities like Tokyo and Berlin are significantly driven by their young populations, attracting global talent and tourism.
Despite these merits, there are notable demerits to having imbalanced young people. One significant challenge is the pressure on the education and employment sectors. Governments need to invest heavily in education and training to equip young people with the skills required in the job market. Failure to do so can lead to high unemployment rates and underemployment, resulting in social and economic instability. Linking Words
For instance
, many African nations struggle with youth unemployment despite their demographic advantage.
In conclusion, investing in education, creating job opportunities, and planning for future demographic shifts are crucial strategies to ensure that the benefits of a large young Linking Words
population
are maximized Use synonyms
while
reducing the related risks.Linking Words
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Task Response
The essay presents a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of young adults compared to older people. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by explicitly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear and logical structure to the essay. However, some points could be better developed to provide a smoother flow of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully supports the main points and includes relevant examples for better clarity and comprehension.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the essay, outlining the key points to be discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses relevant and specific examples to illustrate points, which adds depth to the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are clearly supported throughout the essay, and there is a logical progression from one idea to the next.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.