Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Social
media
has been debated amongst societies because of its negative impacts on individuals. In some aspects, the uncontrollable contents are harmful to Use synonyms
people
because Use synonyms
people
are able to share anything. Use synonyms
Additionally
, it influences societies by setting high Linking Words
standards
in many aspects of life. Use synonyms
Due to
these facts, I wholeheartedly agree that social Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
such
as Facebook and Instagram negatively impact society.
One of the drawbacks of social Linking Words
media
is Use synonyms
people
have the freedom to share any information through social Use synonyms
media
, including harmful posts. It is Use synonyms
due to
the fact that hundreds of contents are uploaded in a day and unregulated information is harmful to Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
For example
, in 2011 in Surabaya, Indonesia, a violent video between students went viral on social Linking Words
media
and the effect of Use synonyms
this
video, there were many similar incidents happened because the students watched the video. Linking Words
Hence
, the uncontrollable content in social Linking Words
media
has negative impacts on society.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, there are many influencers who post their lifestyle and it makes society set their Linking Words
standards
high. It is human nature to always feel less and think that their neighbour's grass is greener and Use synonyms
consequently
, they set their ideal Linking Words
standards
based on the famous artists who have an ideal lifestyle in their opinion. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Indonesia, 60% of teenagers value their relationship by doing couple-goal things Linking Words
such
as fancy dinners with their partner to become an ideal couple just because it goes viral on social Linking Words
media
. Use synonyms
As a result
, it shapes an unhealthy relationship between individuals.
Linking Words
To conclude
, there are negative impacts of social Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
people
setting high Use synonyms
standards
in their lives. Use synonyms
Moreover
, uncontrollable and unregulated posts on social Linking Words
media
are harmful because anyone can access them. Use synonyms
Thus
, I am siding to believe that social Linking Words
media
brings more burdens than benefits.Use synonyms
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, demonstrating that you understand the topic well. To enhance your score, consider acknowledging and briefly addressing counterarguments. This would show a more balanced perspective and add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for your introduction, main points, and conclusion. To achieve higher cohesion, ensure that your transitions between paragraphs are smoother. Phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'In addition' can help link your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Providing more varied sentence structures and a few more sophisticated vocabulary words can make your writing more engaging. This will improve the overall flow and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the main points you intend to discuss, setting a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point related to the negative impacts of social media. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You supported your points with relevant examples, such as the incident in Surabaya and the behavior of teenagers in Indonesia. These examples effectively illustrate your arguments.