Some people think that in the modern society, individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Opinions are divided on whether communities nowadays are becoming dependent on each other or whether each person is more independent of someone.
While
I may acknowledge some reasons behind the former views, I still firmly support the latter. Those who believe that individuals are more independent of
others
may have several arguments. From their perspective, in recent years, folk have relied on
others
because young children who were born in the Gen Z generation always place trust in their
parents
, their
parents
pamper them very much so they don’t need to do anything, It leads to a bad habit. Gradually, young ages will become useless, they can not do anything by themselves.
For example
, if a child was born and grew up in a wealthy family, he would be lazy and feckless but if we compare it to a child who was born in a poor condition, he would work hard and be very useful, he could help his
parents
with a lot of things. Another possible argument is that in society, there are some kinds of public like the poor will, they do not want to work by themselves, and always count on society.
For instance
, a person who does not have fortitude, whenever they get into trouble, will give up and just hinge on their colleagues.
Nevertheless
, I still hold the belief that in the modern age, citizens are not subject to
others
for several reasons. Chief among these is that because , in
this
industrial world, everything is developed including technology there are a lot of smart gadgets which could help a nation deal with plenty of situations. It can be seen that, nowadays everyone has their own phone or computer so they can easily solve their problems. The second reason is that the young generation tends to prefer private so they just like to stay alone so they do not need anyone to help them, even
this
can annoy them. As an illustration, children now prefer having their own room for their private, they do not need to sleep with their
parents
. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may argue that the population now becoming more dependent on
others
.
However
, I would take the view that the modern generation prefers self-sufficiency.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that each argument is thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples. For instance, you could expand on how technology empowers individuals to be more independent.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay clearly by separating arguments into paragraphs, maintaining a logical flow from one idea to the next. Each paragraph should ideally have one main idea or argument that is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Refrain from repeating ideas or arguments. Ensure each point is distinct and contributes uniquely to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task response
The essay addresses both viewpoints, as required by the prompt.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalized economy
  • collaborative work environments
  • crowd-sourced
  • empowered
  • perception
  • availability
  • autonomy
  • reliance
  • shifted
What to do next:
Look at other essays: