Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?
The government ought to invest more in developing
sports
and art
programs for school students
than supporting expert athletes and artists. From my point of view, I totally agree with this
action since it will bring several benefits to the youth.
It is clearly reported that sports
and art
are beneficial for developing both the physical and mental health of children. Playing any kind of sport enhances their muscle, heart beating
and endurance, leading to a healthy body. Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, practising any form of art
improves their focus and relaxes stress, resulting in mindfulness. Altogether, both activities significantly improve students
’ ability to study. If the government invests more money in developing infrastructure or resources used in sports
and art
learning for youth, the country will gain numerous high-quality citizens when they grow up. Eventually, these students
possibly become skilful sports
players and art
performers in the future. Thus
, spending on developing students
in areas of sport and art
is worth trying.
Nevertheless
, most governments have limited budgets for spending. If all of that is
used in developing students
, the leftovers might not be enough to support well-known athletes and artists in any international competition such
as the Olympic games. Consequently
, they possibly defeat and give up for the rest of their lives. Thus
, the nation will not gain any reputation from the international community.
In conclusion, investing in both developing students
and supporting professional athletes and artists is crucial. However
, the first priority should be for students
since it is a sustainable investment.Submitted by phakawat.chu on
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task achievement
While you have provided a clear response to the task, it's helpful to provide more relevant examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific programs or initiatives in sports and art could solidify your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider tightening your argument so that each paragraph has one single primary focus. For instance, discussing the negative impacts of not supporting professional athletes in a separate paragraph can make your argument clearer.
task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument in a balanced way. Even though you agree with the topic, dedicating a small portion to discuss the opposing viewpoint would provide a more comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets the stage for your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provide a solid conclusion that wraps up your main points and reiterates your stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to follow and logically structured, with distinct paragraphs for different points.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and comprehensive, and you effectively link the benefits of sports and art to the overall development of children.
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