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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think governments should spend money in looking for life on other planet, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #money #life #planet #earth
The resources on earth are limited and
money
 is
also
 one of those crucial resources for any country. On the one hand, there are
people
 who believe that the government should invest
money
 to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 on other planets. One of the main reasons to invest in
such
 programs is that humans will learn a lot from
such
 investments and finding
life
 on another planet could help increase the quality of
life
 of all humans.
On the other hand
, there are
people
 who are more concerned about the current situation in their countries. Their belief is that we should take care of the problems like hunger, over-population , pollution and shortage of other resources.
Moreover
, they do not think that there is any benefit of spending the
money
 on programs related to finding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 on other planets. In my opinion, governments should address the needs of their
people
 that are more urgent in nature and spend
money
 wisely to eliminate any problem their citizens are facing because these are the problems that will
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 go away immediately by spending
money
 on things like finding
life
 on other planets.
Also
, the
money
 invested in science expeditions for finding
life
 is a gamble where they may or may not find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
.
However
, the
money
 spent on their own
people
 to raise the standard of living for them is definitely going to make a big difference to them.
Hence
, I support the latter idea of spending the
money
 on your own
people
 than on anything else.
Submitted by maneetgiri1 on

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task response
Expand your discussion on the first viewpoint, providing more specific examples or explanations on how discovering life on other planets could benefit humanity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. More use of linking words and phrases could enhance the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Provide a balanced discussion by giving more weight to the argument you oppose. This can help to present a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task response
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear and easily understandable, making your argument coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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