Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Discuss

#children #home #parents

In some societies, there are families who prefer to educate their children in

home

settings.

Therefore

, there are some special concerns regarding

this

issue. In

this

essay, the advantages and disadvantages of

this

kind of education will be discussed and I will give my personal view. Obviously,

parents

who are in favour of teaching their children at

home

believe there are some advantages to

this

. First of all, some of these families live far from the cities and educational facilities so,

home

setting education is more convenient and approachable for them.

Secondly

parents

may be able to provide a more practical education compared to traditional schools.

For example

, gardening, house management and, some other hands-on skills that will prepare the kids for their future lives. Another significant point is that, based on what they claim it is safer and more convenient for both

parents

and the children because

parents

are in a better position to keep the kids away from negative influences than when they take care of them at

home

On the other hand

, there are some obvious disadvantages too. People who are against

this

method believe that the main aim of going to

school

is not just learning how to write and count. There are lots of social skills that can be learned at

school

when students are in contact with their peer group.

Moreover

, they will learn how to deal with their teachers and other people at

school

independently. In conclusion, based on what is discussed above, the role of teachers and schools in shaping students' characters and their future is undeniable. In my opinion, the advantages of going to

school

far outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by bryan.dasco on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Development of Ideas

Try to develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will add depth to your argument and make your ideas more convincing.

Language Use

Consider adding more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Paragraphing and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea, using appropriate connectives to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Introduction and Conclusion

You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly presenting your stance.

Task Response

You balanced the discussion by considering both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a good understanding of the essay task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Logical flow and structure in presenting arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Discuss

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The violence portrayed on T.V and in the movies leads to an increase in crime in our society. People who watch violent movies are more likely to become criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

“In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?