Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?
Smartphones are electric devices which are readily available to anyone in society now regardless of their economic or social background. They have gone beyond the primary purpose of making a call,towards photography, digital creating, content creating,social influencing and artificial intelligence.In
this
eassay
, I am going to express my view regarding Correct your spelling
essay
this
on both positive and negative aspects.
Firstly
,children can be addicted to anything easily.Smart devices have bright, colourful screens which drag their minds.Therefore
, they can't stop their usage as they are always attracted towards it.there is confirmed scientific evidence that blue light emissions affect the neuronal development of kids which may lead to conditions like autism and ADHD.Furthermore
, there is a high chance of vision impairments of
future generations Change preposition
in
due to
long-term screen exposure.
Secondly
,kids compare themselves with friends .If friends are always talking about things they are getting done from smart devices,invariably a curiosity buildup in mind and they will definitely experiment with it.
Thirdly
, it wastes kids' time if they are not using it for something fruitful.Very young small ones can't separate good from bad if they are not guided well.They can browse whatever they want and get anything to their fingertips easily without any restriction.
I think this
trend is a negative development due to
the above reasons.
On the other hand
,there are various positive vibes that can be taken from using a smartphone. They can use it for their education research, online classes, and applications to develop their aesthetic interests likewise
.
To conclude
,usage
of a smartphone should be done with caution. We should try to get maximum benefit out of it Correct article usage
the usage
while
avoiding harmful effects.Submitted by dinaka0001 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt, but it lacks strong examples and evidence to fully support your points. For example, providing specific studies or statistics about the effects of smartphones on children would make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, the flow could be improved by better transitions between paragraphs. Ensuring each paragraph naturally leads into the next will help maintain reader engagement and clarity.
general writing
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors. Words like 'eassay' should be corrected to 'essay,' and consider adding more advanced vocabulary where appropriate to elevate your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is informative but could be more engaging. Try opening with a hook, like a surprising statistic or a quote, to catch the reader's attention immediately.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance on the issue. This gives your essay a strong sense of closure.
task achievement
You have identified several key reasons why children spend hours on their smartphones, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.