Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

Technology
indeed has become one of the factors that changed how
people
interact with each other in the world today. In my opinion,
technology
can be a good thing to support interaction between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, yet it could
also
bring disadvantages when it is not used in a good manner. The benefit of using
technology
as a tool for
communication
is greatly felt by humans nowadays. It is because, with
technology
, humans are allowed to connect without having a direct meeting. Take a smartphone
for example
. With a video call feature,
people
can converse easily and see each other faces in real-time, despite the distant location.
Communication
becomes so much more approachable.
However
,
technology
has a downside in altering how
people
communicate. The reason is individuals tend to have no boundaries when they have the convenience to do something. In one case, a person could easily disturb other
people
despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the proper time to call or text.
Additionally
, with the easiness of using
communication
tools
such
as chat applications,
people
sometimes
no
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention to how the words
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
delivered to others,
hence
missed
Wrong verb form
missing
show examples
communication
.
To conclude
, using
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technology
for
communication
should come with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the human itself.
Furthermore
, boundaries should be made in order to make the interaction flow in
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
direction.
Submitted by jermias.darondo89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop each main point more thoroughly. Each paragraph should elaborate on a specific aspect of technology's impact on human interaction and provide more detailed examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in verb tense and grammatical accuracy. For example, 'a person could easily disturb' should be 'a person can easily disturb' to match the present tense used elsewhere.
coherence cohesion
Add linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This and more precise use of language can strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-defined, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative impacts of technology on human interaction, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized communication
  • instant connections
  • physical proximity
  • social media platforms
  • superficial interactions
  • face-to-face communication
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • professional networks
  • shared interests
  • dating apps
  • organic social interactions
  • anonymity
  • cyberbullying
  • trolling
  • support groups
  • sense of belonging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: